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Her husband said to her "It is over, I am going to send the divorce papers to you"

Question

Aslamualakum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakatuhu brother, I have a question about my personal situation pertaining to divorce. I was forced into an arranged engagement since I was 15, I willingly went to Pakistan for a short trip and got married because his mother was dying when I was almost 19 back in 2012. I came back to the U.S. without consummating the marriage and sponsored for him. Over the course of one year or so, we would chat, text, skype, and talk on the phone to try and get to know each other and we never bonded. He would always fight with me because I was too busy for him, he would never want to explain things to me if I didn't understand them the first time, he would insult me because he was insecure of himself, etc. I would always send gifts and whatever he needed to him. He was always so negative and dry unfortunately. However, I still gave him a chance and waited for him to come here and consummated the marriage and tried building it up and it never worked. We would get in fights and my parents tried keeping the marriage strong and binded, but that didn't work either. Then he left one day to another state just for some space. I e-mailed him a month later and he didn't respond. I then waited four months and finally called him and he said he didn't want to spend another second with me and didn't want to come back to me. I then waited another month and e-mailed him, asking him the current situation and he angrily responded to me that it was over and that he was going to send the divorce papers to me and it has been over a month and I still have not received them, am I still married to him, or will I be able to remarry right away? My parents are really hesistant to take the next step and have hopes of me getting back with him, even though I don't want to. I'd highly appreciate your fatwa brother ASAP. Jakallah Khair brother. Aslamualakum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.

Writing down the words of divorce is considered a figurative expression of divorce as highlighted in Fatwa 87034. The same ruling applies when the husband says to his wife, ‘It is over,’ or expresses his desire to end their marital relationship. All these statements are considered figurative expressions of divorce. In such a case, divorce does not take effect unless accompanied with the husband’s volition to divorce his wife as underlined in Fatwa 90416.

Therefore, you should ask your husband about his intention while uttering those words in order to decide whether you are still married to him or divorce has taken effect. You are advised to refer the case to the Sharee'ah-court, if your case requires so.

If divorce takes place before the consummation of marriage, there is no ‘Iddah (post-divorce waiting period) for the divorcee. In this case, she is entitled to get married to someone else (immediately after the divorce). Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {O You who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So provide for them and give them a gracious release.} [Quran 33:49]

In this case, the divorcee is entitled to half her Mahr (dowry). Allaah, The Exalted, says (what means): {And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you specified - unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed, Allaah, of whatever you do, is Seeing.} [Quran 2:237]

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 74208 and 117780.

Allaah Knows best.

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