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Pronounced Divorce Three Times in Extreme Anger

Question

I'm married for about six years with two children; lately, I had a lot of stress from work, family, and a lot of pressure. Last week I had a big fight with my wife, I started shouting, then beating each other. Then I started breaking every thing in front of me like chairs and table, the fight went on, my arm started bleeding and I was in extreme anger that I've not been like before, and finally I told my wife, I divorced you, I divorced you, I divorced you. Of course, after calming down, I started crying and blaming myself of what I had done. My question: does this count as a divorce? Is it one or three? And is it Halal to try to solve our problems and get back as husband and wife again? And how?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Dear brother, we remind you of the precept that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said to a person who requested his guidance. He  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said to him, “Do not get angry.” The man asked the same question again and again, and the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said each time, “Do not get angry.

Know that furiousness always brings harm and creates pressure for you.

Imam Ibn At-Teen said: “The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) summed up the goodness of this life and the Hereafter as well in his saying 'do not get angry', since anger always ends up in rupture of relations and prevention of kindness; sometimes it may even end up in causing what is forbidden to the opponent, which, in turn, badly affects the religion of the angry person.

Know that the basic elements of a happy conjugal life are mutual understanding, overlooking each other's shortcomings and being patient with lapses.

Know, dear brother, you have pronounced thrice the clear words of divorce; thus, your wife has completely become separated from you. She is forbidden for you and you cannot take her back unless she marries another man, and then, he divorces her willingly; after that you may marry her again fulfilling all the conditions of legal marriage.

However, at the time of delivering divorce if you intended only to confirm the first divorce by repeating it twice then it would be considered only one divorce.

As for the excuse of giving the divorce in anger, it does not benefit you since generally people divorce in the state of anger. However, if one's anger reaches the decree that he loses his mind and acts without having control of oneself, then only in this case the ruling of an insane person may apply to him [i.e. that his divorce is not effective]

For more benefit on divorce given in anger, please refer to Fataawa 220696, 243088, 245707, 322960, 388225, 395773, 121374, 126164, and 245707.

Allah knows best.

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