I'm 19 years old. My father is dead and my mother wasn't strict in raising me. She never punished me for talking to her in a bad way. Now I'm always nervous, and I talk to her that way without feeling what I'm doing. I mean that when I'm nervous I don't feel what I'm doing or saying. She became telling me that God won't be satisfied with me and that I'll never win, but I feel like this is all because of her. Now I don't know what to do.

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Allah Orders His slaves to worship Him Alone without associating with Him any partners, and to be good to their parents; Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents.} [Quran 17: 23]

A man came to the Prophet and asked him: “Who is more deserving of my good company?' The Prophet said: 'Your mother". Then, the man said: 'Then, who?' The Prophet replied: 'Then, your mother.' He said: 'Then, Who?' The Prophet again said: 'Then your mother.' The man said: 'Then who?' Thereupon, the Prophet said: 'Then, your father.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The right of a mother is very great even if she is non-Muslim. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-'Aas narrated that a woman said: “Prophet of Allah, my womb is vessel to this son of mine; my breasts, a water-skin for him; and my lap a guard for him, yet his father has divorced me, and wants to take him away from me." The Prophet of Allah said: "You have more right over him as long as you do not remarry.” [Abu Daawood, and Al-Albaani graded it sound]

Your nervousness is not a justification to be harsh with your mother. Instead you should be kindhearted, good, and lenient in dealing with her. Avoid any kind of bad treatment to her. Also, you must give up getting angry and nervous since they are the cause for your hardship and many problems

Abu Hurayrah narrated that a man said to the Prophet : “Advise me!” The Prophet said: “Do not become angry and furious.” The man asked the same question again, and again the Prophet said each time: “Do not become angry and furious.” [Al-Bukhari]

Allah knows best.