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Fatwa CenterLiving morally away from religion
Question
How do I answer my non-Muslim friend who claims that her dad has raised her to be stubborn and independent, but also to live with honor, respect and compassion for other people and she doesn't believe that you have to be religious to live your life in a moral way?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Being stubborn is a dispraised characteristic and not a praised one, so your friend should not be proud of being brought up this way. Stubbornness is rejecting the truth after knowing it. So if she was brought up being stubborn, then what an evil cultivation. Allaah Says (which means): {And every obstinate, arrogant dictator (who refuses to believe in the Oneness of Allaah) was brought to a complete loss and destruction.}[Quran 14:15]. Allaah further Says (which means): {Nay! Verily, he has been opposing Our Proofs (Evidences, Verses, Lessons, Signs, Revelations).}[Quran 74:16]. If one is stubborn and disbelieves or rejects Allaah's Proofs, then he is indeed in complete loss. Allaah Says (which means): {[Allaah will say]: "Throw into Hell every obstinate disbeliever."}[Quran 50:24]. At that time, your friend drawling and saying that she used to live in a normal way and it was not necessary to hold fast to religion, will be of no avail to her.
You have to know, dear questioner, that religion is the core of everything, and so, losing it, is being in a great loss. Even if a person has some morals, like telling the truth and so forth but is not religious, then this will not benefit him in front of Allaah on the Day of Judgement if he dies as a non-Muslim. Allaah Says (which means): {And We will approach [i.e. regard] what they have done of deeds and make them as dust dispersed.}[Quran 25:23]. Respecting and having compassion towards other people will not benefit her then, when she will be in front of Allaah, because she did not respect her Creator and her Provider as she should have believed and respected Him, on the contrary she denied Him and His Messengers. So how can we say that one has good morals and a good character when he has spoilt his worship and contact with Allaah.
Finally, we advise you, dear questioner, not to befriend a non-Muslim female especially if you are not grounded in religious knowledge to an extent that entitles you to call to Allaah and repel misconceptions. The Prophet 
said: "A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one should watch whom he befriends." [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]
For more benefit, please refer to an important Fatwa 88293 on the limits of relationship between a Muslim and a non-Muslim.
Allaah Knows best.
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