Experience of Dutch Muslim woman

01/05/2007| IslamWeb

Rabi'a Frank is a 31-year-old Dutch woman who converted to Islam in 1994, changing her first name from Rebecca.

She is married to a Moroccan man who grew up in the Netherlands, and they have three sons.

In 2005 she began to wear the niqab face veil and is one of about only 50 women in total to do so in the Netherlands, according to estimates by the Dutch Muslim community.

The Netherlands is home to almost 1 million Muslims, or 5.4 percent of the population -- the second highest density of Muslims after France.

Bubbly and spirited, Rabi'a spoke to Reuters in her home, where she unveiled to reveal a blonde pony tail and western clothes.

"I was young when I became interested in Islam and when you are young, nothing is strange, you just dive in. It is a bit of a cliche -- I had a Moroccan boyfriend. At first I wanted to learn more about his culture. I got out library books about Morocco and then I got to Islam. I read about it in secret. I didn't want to give him the impression that I was doing it for him.

"I first read the Koran in Dutch translation and it just got into my heart. It felt good, I could relate to it, I understood and it touched me.

"I heard of a Muslim centre in The Hague and I went there every week. Then one day the imam asked me if wanted to join some others taking their Shahadah (proclamation of faith in God). I gulped. 'Already?' I thought. I didn't think I knew enough yet, but then I agreed.

"I wore this ugly scarf I remember, I just grabbed one from the closet. After the Shahadah I couldn't stop crying. It was very emotional.

"When my mother heard of my conversion she rushed into my room screaming and crying, yelling: 'Why did you do that, what are you thinking?' It was awful. I thought to myself: 'That reaction is exactly why I didn't tell you.'

"Wearing the hijab felt like a form of liberation. Every day I had had to walk past some builders and they would whistle at me. Then the morning I walked past in my hijab they didn't.

"On the one hand I felt so happy, thinking, 'Finally, this is who I am,' but on the other hand I wanted to say 'Hey, look, I am still the same girl underneath.'

"It took me years to work out how to tie the scarf. When I first converted I took old Turkish and Moroccan women as a model. I wore those typical long coats -- and ugh -- it just wasn't me. I felt insecure especially when people said, 'Look, a Turk with blue eyes!' I didn't know how to dress.

"There is a joke of the 'new Muslim tramp'. You are so used to wearing jeans and caring about fashion, and suddenly you abandon these concerns and start to wear these mixed-up clothes. Most converts go through this 'tramp' phase, I think before they find a style.

"I didn't have a lot of contact with native Muslims at first. My family-in-law thought that as I wasn't Moroccan I was no good. It took me years to prove myself to them and I think now I am the one who takes religion most seriously.

"I feel a lot of respect from native Muslim women. They think, 'wow -- you are Dutch yet you dress like that.'

"I can't really pinpoint when I first started thinking I should wear the niqab. But when I first became a Muslim I was in love with Islam. I was like a sponge, everything was Islam, Islam, Islam. After a few years that feeling became less intense yet I wanted it again -- I wanted to do something more for Allah. Seeing other women in a niqab touched something in me. I told my husband I wanted to wear it too. 'Are you nuts?' he said. He was not happy about it, but my feeling didn't go away.

"Wearing the niqab has nothing to do with being ashamed of your femininity or being oppressed. It is just a way to express more love to God.

"It is nonsense to suggest that by wearing a niqab I don't take part in society. When you walk through the streets or go shopping, how much contact do you really have even without a niqab? It is not as if you talk to everyone you meet. A woman once said 'I can't make contact with you,' but I thought, 'well did we ever make contact before?'

"I've joked I had a gun or a bomb under my robe in my rebellion days. I still have rebellion days sometimes. I always say something back if someone makes a comment about me. Part of it is that people don't see you as human. So if you respond they are shocked. And if that response comes in good Dutch then they are really stunned. I think I have to try and educate people a bit.

"Some people think converts are just looking for any religion. If that was so I would choose an easier one. Islam is a beautiful religion but it is not always so easy. You have to battle with yourself a lot."

Reuters