How to gain self-confidence

07/12/2011| IslamWeb

Self-confidence is the way to success in life, whereas, falling down under the pressure of negativity, hesitation, worryand uncertainty about one's abilities, is the beginning of failure. Much potential was wasted and lost because their owners did not realize the value of the abilities that Allah The Exalted had bestowed on them. Had they properly utilized them, they would have achieved many things. Here are some steps one can take to discard many of the negative ideas and feelings in life, whether they are in thoughts, behavior, morals, habits or words. These steps would help one relieve himself of such thoughts and feelings, free himself of their effect and receive life with more self-confidence and shining hopes. These steps are:

1-    With neither partiality nor exaggeration, determine the most important negative thoughts and characteristics in your life.

2-    Think of every thought or characteristic separately.

3-    Try to think about every thought or characteristic in a logical and analytical way that leads you to know its causes and its true nature. You must know whether it is indeed a reality or a mere illusion and fantasy.

4-    If it is a mere illusion, you should free yourself from it; otherwise, you should try to discard its causes and minimize it as much as possible. Moreover, you should know that the more deeply-rooted the characteristic is, the more effort and time required for it to be discarded.

5-    In moments of serenity that are free from distractions and worries, try to connect your mind and thoughts with an important positive situation in a focused manner. Recall all the details of that situation with voice, image, feelings, and all the surrounding atmosphere. When you reach the peak of mental activity, psychological relief and cheerfulness of the heart and you feel that you are far away from reality, try to say ‘Allahu Akbar’ (Allah is the Greatest), ‘Subhaan Allah’ (Glory be to Allah), and Laa ilaaha illa Allah (There is no god but Allah) along with making a particular motion with your finger. This situation, for example, could be the news of your success, your wedding day, a night that you spent in worshipping Allah The Almighty, hearing good news concerning the Muslims or the first day when you saw one of the two Holy Mosques.

6-    Repeat this many times until this positive situation with all its feelings as well as its psychological and emotional consequences is automatically connected with this signal. You should try this until you reach the state that when you make this signal, you will automatically find yourself transferred to this positive psychological state, even if you did not remember the material situation that caused it.

7-    When any negative feelings or thoughts occurs to you in any situation, you should close your eyes for a while and discard these thoughts. Then try to imagine that there is a notice board before you with the word "STOP" written on it. Contemplate this word for a while and look at it repeatedly as if you can not see anything else.

8-    Go beyond this word with your eyes and try to imagine that there are flourishing gardens, floating rivers, singing birds and a gentle breeze behind it. Keeping your eyes closed; try to enjoy all this for a while. 

 

First and foremost, however, one must resort to Allah The Almighty because it is He who makes one laugh and weep. Hence, you have to repent and ask for the forgiveness of Allah The Almighty and constantly remember Him to revive your heart.