Push Your Husband Towards Success

03/09/2012| IslamWeb

It is said that behind every great man there is a great woman. Have you ever thought of being that great woman who makes a great man of her husband? Many women wish to do so, but only a few of them endeavor to fulfill that precious wish in a practical way. In the following lines, we shall try to help you and your husband on to the way of success. We shall offer you the secrets of success and tell you what you are expected to do to make these possible and easy for your husband. The relevant source is a book written by Mr. ‘Aadil Fat’hi ‘Abdullaah about how the wife can push her husband towards success.

- Always remind your husband to have a righteous intention in every deed. Do not drive him into doing something that is beyond his capacity. If you do so, he might resort to unlawful or doubtful means to fulfill your requests. Let your constant advice to your husband be that of the righteous woman who said to her husband, "Fear Allah in treating us, and do not feed us except lawfully earned sustenance, for we can endure hunger in life, but we cannot endure Hell in the Hereafter."

 

- Be realistic in setting your goals. If you find your husband setting imaginary goals, draw him gently back to reality. Follow the gradual approach in setting and achieving goals. A great goal can be divided into smaller ones, and whenever a minor goal is achieved, help your husband with the following one, and so on. Do not be hasty in achieving these goals, and do not hesitate to give up some of the things that you want for yourself for the sake of your family’s welfare.

 

- As long as the goals are set, there should be sound and disciplined planning to achieve them. The success of this rests on complete knowledge of the nature of work. Thereby, you should provide your husband with the suitable environment to help him achieve the task of planning for work with peace of mind. Help him to count all that he needs to achieve the task that he is working on, and help him set a five-year plan to achieve something important for the family every five years.

 

- AllahThe Almighty orders us to do our work well and with perfection in all conditions and under all circumstances. Also, the Prophet, , said: “Indeed, Allah loves that when any one of you does something, he does it perfectly.” Hence, help your husband and encourage him to attain perfection.

 

- Help your husband to have self-confidence by praising his good qualities, reminding him of his successful achievements either during or before your marriage and by discovering his talents. Many people are quite unaware of their talents, and know them by virtue of others. As you are the closest person to him, you can help him discover his negative qualities and try to discuss and treat them. Do not forget to offer your advice in a beautiful and gentle manner.

 

- Always remember that life is made up of time, and that good utilization of time is one of the tasks that lead to success. To have well-managed time, you should prepare visits to your relatives and friends far in advance, and do not use such visits as a chance to waste time. Internal family problems, like the children's simple troubles, should be settled without wasting your husband's time. You can relieve him of some burdens by buying the household needs, so that you can save him time to resume his work or to rest. You may utilize the time wasted in chatting on the phone and watching television in helping your husband as much as you can.

 

- Any success in life is devoid of blessing unless it is associated with good deeds. We are not talking here about the obligations that Allah The Almighty enjoins upon us, for the necessity to observe them is obvious. We mean the voluntary acts of worship, charity and acts of kindness done by Muslims as they seek to be close to Allah The Almighty. Psychologists, even those who are Western, acknowledge the great effects of doing good deeds on the souls, pushing them towards success. Good deeds give peace of mind and great happiness. Therefore, you should kindly push your husband towards doing all sorts of good deeds.

 

- Many people work in many different fields and do many things which end up being worthless. Their time is wasted because of one simple reason, they never complete a task. There are many tasks which are either completed or left incomplete. Hence, help your husband to adopt an attitude of perseverance to achieve his tasks by not insisting that he fulfills your demands that are beyond his capacity. Such insistence might cause him to move to another kind of work without achieving anything in his previous one thus, losing success in both.

 

- Life is never free of difficulties and obstacles. However, the sound mind that proceeds on the way of success is always driven by high aspirations to overcome the obstacles and deal patiently with misfortunes. Allah The Almighty addresses the Prophet Saying (what means): {O you who covers himself [with a garment], Arise and warn, And your Lord glorify, And your clothing purify, And uncleanliness avoid, and do not confer favor to acquire more.} [Quran 74:1-7]

 

It is a divine call to wake up and struggle to construct life. To make your husband highly motivated, you should be highly motivated yourself.

 

- You should know that man needs nothing more in his life than patience. The Prophet, , said: “And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.”

 

Thus, patience is the way to achieve the pursued goal. To be patient is not only to endure adversities, but also to make no complaints except to Allah The Almighty. With this sort of patience, one should neither be restless nor discontented. Patience should always be joined with being content with the divine decree and confidence in what is with Allah The Almighty. This is always better and more lasting.

 

Futile Success

 

- In conclusion, you should be certain of the fact that not all successful people are happy. There are successful people whom we believe to be very happy, when in reality they are miserable and wish to get rid of all of their success, in exchange of a moment’s happiness. Success that is achieved at the expense of one's physical, psychological and moral health is indeed destructive. Failure is better than this kind of success. Therefore, be careful not to push your husband to succeed in something that will cost him more than failure does.

 

Life is a balance between many things, and any disturbance in this balance will lead to troubles, failure and loss. This balance can never be illustrated better than by the Prophet, , who said: “Your Lord has a right on you, and your family has a right on you, and your self has a right on you; so give each his due right.”