Kissing and foreplay for the fasting person

14/09/2009| IslamWeb

‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, reported, “The Prophet used to kiss and embrace [his wives] while fasting, but his ability to control his desires was greater than any of you.”

Another version reads, “The Prophet would kiss [his spouses] while he would be fasting in the month of Ramadan.”[Muslim]

In yet another narration, she added, “None of you could contain his sexual excitement as the Prophet could.”

Abu Daawood recorded that ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, also said, “The Prophet used to kiss me while we were both fasting.”

Abu Salamah ibn ‘Abdur-Rahmaan related, “‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, ‘The Prophet used to kiss some of his wives while he was fasting.’ I asked her, ‘Did he kiss them while he was fulfilling an obligatory or voluntary fast?’ ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, replied, “In both cases.”  [Ibn Hibbaan]

Similarly, Hafsah, may Allah be pleased with her, related, “The Prophet used to kiss [his wives] while he was fasting.” [Muslim] 

Moreover, ‘Umar ibn Abi Salamah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that he asked the Messenger, , “Is the fasting person allowed to kiss [his wife]?” He replied: “Ask her [i.e., Umm Salamah].” She informed him that even the Messenger of Allah, , did so, whereupon he remarked, “O Messenger of Allah, but Allah has pardoned all of your sins, the previous and latter ones.” Upon this, the Messenger, , said, “By Allah, [I do it and] I am the most pious and fearing of Allah The Almighty among you; [thus, so can you].” [Muslim]

‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, said, “I became happy, so I kissed [my wife] while I was fasting. So, I said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, I have committed a serious sin: I kissed and I was fasting.’ He responded, ‘What do you think of rinsing your mouth with water whilst you are fasting?’ I replied, ‘There is no harm in that. He said, ‘Then what [is the matter here]?’ [Abu Daawood]

Benefits and Rulings derived from these Hadeeths:

1-      It is permissible for one who is observing obligatory or voluntary fasts to kiss his wife and indulge in foreplay with her, during the month of Ramadan and at other times. This applies to the young as well as the old man, as long as he has the ability to control his sexual excitement and restrain himself from having intercourse or ejaculating while fasting.

2-      Foreplay in the aforementioned Hadeeths refers to hugging and touching, but not actually having sexual intercourse, which invalidates the fast.

3-      If the fasting person kisses, touches or embraces his wife and ejaculates, then his fast becomes null and void. However, he should still refrain from eating and drinking until sunset, and then make up the fast for that day, in addition to repenting to Allah The Almighty and asking for His forgiveness. Allah The Almighty Says about a fasting person in the Qudsi Hadeeth (sacred texts that contain the Words of Allah The Almighty, conveyed by the Prophet, ), “He sacrifices his sexual desire, food and drink for My Sake.”[Al-Bukhari and Muslim] In another narration, He Says, “He sacrifices his pleasure and leaves his wife for My Sake.”[Ibn Khuzaymah]

However, if the foreplay causes a discharge of only Mathi (pre-seminal fluid), the fast is still valid, according to the preponderant opinion. Nonetheless, one should keep away from what may arouse him and, in turn, lead to him committing what is prohibited (actual intercourse).

4-      According to the previous Hadeeths, the permissibility of kissing by a fasting person is not confined to the Prophet, ; rather, it is permissible for all Muslims, provided that it does not lead to sexual intercourse or ejaculation.

5-      The Prophet, , is the most pious and submissive person to Allah The Almighty, as he knows Him better than anyone else.

6-      The previous Hadeeths indicate the obligation of abstaining from extremism and refute the perception that it was only the Prophet, , who was allowed to kiss his wives while fasting. That is why he, , was displeased when the Companion debated with him; he, , asserted: “By Allah, [I do it and] I am the most pious and fearing of Allah The Almighty among you.” In another Hadeeth, the Prophet, , said, “And, [I am] the most knowledgeable one of you about the limits of Allah The Almighty.”

7-      These Hadeeths portray the zeal of the honorable Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, in knowing what is lawful and what is not, as well as their fear of Allah The Almighty and abstinence from all that may affect the validity of [their] worship. 

8-      Such Hadeeths refute the allegation of the Sufis, those extremist who exempt themselves or their scholars from all or some religious duties, under the pretext that they have attained a high status in faith, which sanctions that. However, the Prophet, , who was the most perfect of all people in religion, strictly adhered to the rulings of Sharee‘ah (Islamic jurisprudence) and its teachings. He also corrected the wrong notion that his sins being forgiven entitles him to commit some prohibitions.

9-      The Hadeeth that was narrated on the authority of ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allah be pleased with him, proves that analogy (Qiyaas) in jurisprudence is acceptable; and that the same ruling may apply to two things, given their similarities. Here, rinsing the mouth with water, which may cause one to swallow it and invalidate the fast, was likened to the kiss, which may lead to sexual intercourse and, also, nullification of the fast. Consequently, as long as the former does not break it, neither does the latter.