Advice to my daughter

29/09/2011| IslamWeb

My daughter, I am a man who is no longer young and I left my dreams and illusions behind. I traveled a lot, met people and experienced life. Therefore, please listen to this sound, frank word of advice that is the extract of my long age and experiences. I think you have never heard such things from anyone else.

We wrote and called for rectifying morals, erasing corruption and suppressing desires until our pens and tongues became exhausted. However, we achieved nothing and did not manage to remove any evil. Rather, evil is increasing and corruption is spreading. Wanton display and nudity are increasing at an alarming rate and spreading from one place to another.  This evil practice─ I think─ has spread throughout all Muslim countries, even in Ash-Shaam where loose, full-covering clothes used to prevail and honor and modesty were strictly preserved. Nowadays, ladies go out unveiled, with their arms and necks exposed.

We did not succeed and I think we will not. Do you know why? Because, until now, we did not reach the right door to reform. My daughter, you have the key of that door. If you take the initiative to open this door, conditions will be reformed.

It is true that man takes the first step towards the way of sin. A woman never takes this first step. If a woman does not accept the man, he will not proceed. If it not were for your leniency, he would not dare to continue. You opened the door for him and he entered. You welcomed the thief, and when he robbed you, you screamed for help.

If you knew that all men are wolves and that you are a ewe, you would flee from them as the ewe flees from the wolf. If you remembered that they are thieves, you would be as cautious with them as a stingy person is from a thief. A wolf wants the meat of the ewe, but a man wants something dearer to you than the this; and more evil to you than the death of the ewe. It is your chastity, with which you are honored, with which you boast and with which you live. The life of a girl with ravished chastity is a hundred times worse than the death of the sheep. By Allah, this is true!

Once a young man sees a girl, he lets his imagination undress her and then he visualizes her naked. By Allah, this is really correct! I swear to you again. Do not believe some men who claim that they solely observe the woman's morals and ethics and that they speak with her and treat her kindly like a friend. By Allah, they are liars. If you hear what young men say when they are alone, you will find terrifying things. The smiles, amiable words and services of the young man to you are just preparation for getting what he wants, or at least he does so to give himself the impression that he is preparing to achieve his purpose.

What comes afterwards? Please, tell me! The young man and you share pleasure for an hour, and then he forgets, but you still suffer the bad consequences forever. He will easily leave and go to another foolish girl to rob her chastity while you bear the burdens of pregnancy, anxiety in yourself and shame on your forehead. The unjust society forgives him, and says, "A young man who deviated but repented." However, the society never forgives you, and you live in permanent shame.

If you, when you meet such a man, oppose him, turn your face away from him, give him your back, and even beat him with your shoes on his head if he insists and impudently tries to touch you ─ if you do so, people crossing the street will help you against him, and no immoral man will ever dare to do so with a girl. If he is good, he will come to you with a sincere intention to have lawful relations with you through marriage.

 Any girl, regardless of her social status, wealth, fame or esteem, finds her greatest hope and happiness only in marriage when she serves as a righteous wife, good mother and housewife. This is the case with all women whether they are queens, princesses or Hollywood stars whose fame and glamour deceive many women. I know two great women writers in Egypt and Ash-Shaam who enjoyed both wealth and literary esteem, but they did not marry. They went crazy! Please do not embarrass me by asking about their names, for they are known.

Marriage is the peak of a woman's wishes, even if she became a member of parliament or if she assumed power. No one marries an immoral irresponsible woman. Even the person who seduces the noble girl promising to marry her later, does not keep his promise if the girl fell into the evil act. He would rather leave her and seek another chaste girl to marry, for he does not tolerate that his wife and the mother of his children be a fornicator.

If an immoral man does not find a foolish, immoral girl who loses her dignity and becomes a toy in his hands by accepting to share his unlawful pleasures, he seeks marriage according to the traditions of Islam. You are the reason behind the recession of marriage. Were there no immoral girls, marriage would have flourished and immorality would not have become widespread.

Why do not the noble girls work to fight such immorality? You are more entitled to that and more capable of that than we, for you know how to speak to girls and how to make them understand. Only you, chaste, moral and religious girls, can remove corruption. In every home, there are girls who have reached the age of marriage, but could not marry because young men found prostitutes as alternatives to wives.

Form groups from the female intellectuals, teachers and university students to help your deviant sisters return to the straight path. Inspire them with fear of Allah the Almighty; if they do not fear Him, warn them against disease. If they do not fear disease speak to them about reality. Say to them: you are beautiful girls, and therefore, young men approach you, but will you always be beautiful? Does anything on earth remain forever so that a girl will maintain her youth and beauty forever? What will the situation be like when you grow into old ladies with bent backs and wrinkled faces? Who will take care of you then? Who will ask about you? Do you know who cares for, honors and reveres an old lady? It is her sons, daughters and grandchildren. The old lady, then, becomes the queen in her kingdom, whereas the "other woman" lives in a manner that you know better. Are these pleasures equal to that pain? Should this end be sold for that beginning?

You do not need anyone to tell you how to speak to your deviant sisters. Try every possible means to guide them. If you cannot do this, try to keep the virtuous girls intact and not fall into imitating the bad ones. You are not required to return the Muslim woman to her original state in one leap, because a one-step breakthrough is usually impossible to achieve, so I advise you to go back to goodness step by step as you proceeded to evil step by step. You renounced virtue step by step, thinned out the veil of disobedience and endeavored for a long time working for that shift. Good men could not feel that, the lewd magazines urged it, and the immoral persons were pleased with it until we reached a state that is not approved by Islam or Christianity. Even the Magians whom we read about in history books did not reach that state. This state is not approved even by animals. When two roosters seek a chicken, they fight because of jealousy for her and in defense of her. On beaches, however, there are Muslim men who feel no jealousy about anyone looking at their Muslim wives. It is not just a matter of seeing their faces, hands and necks, but this includes everything except their private parts, the things which are considered obscene to show! In the so-called (progressive clubs and evening parties), some Muslim men present their Muslim women to non-Mahrams. The non-Mahram man would dance with the lady until his chest, belly and mouth touch hers, with his arms wrapped around her body. At universities, Muslim girls with parts of their bodies unveiled, sit with Muslim young men. Muslim fathers and mothers do not even denounce that. There are many similar matters that cannot be reformed overnight. We must, however, return to the truth from the way through which we went to evil, even if we find the way to be long. A person who does not take the long way when there is no other way will never reach his destination.

We should start by fighting intermixing between the two sexes, for the Prophet said: "Any man who stays in seclusion with a non-Mahram woman will definitely have Satan as their third." [Ahmad, At-Tirmithi, and Al-Haakim]

It was also narrated that the Prophet said: "Let none of you stay with a woman in seclusion except in the presence of a Mahram." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

If the face is uncovered in the same way as Allah the Almighty created it (without cosmetics), this would be acceptable even though covering it is better and preferable. Intermixing is something else. Uncovering a woman's face does not mean that she mixes with men other than her Mahrams, receives her husband's friend in the house, greets him whenever she meets him in the tram or on the street, shakes hands with her male university colleague, speaks with him, walks with him in the street or prepares herself for the exam with him.

She must not forget that Allah the Almighty Created her as a female and Created him as male, and that He Put in each of them an inclination toward the other. Consequently, neither she nor he nor all people can change the creation of Allah the Almighty. They cannot make the two sexes "equal" or remove the natural inclination to the opposite sex. Callers of equality and intermixing between the two sexes under the pretext of civilization and progress are liars for two reasons. They are liars because their goal behind this is to take physical pleasure, satisfy their inclinations, let their eyes see girls pleasurably and obtain further pleasures.  They dared not express this frankly. Therefore, they dressed their meaningless thoughts such bombastic, fruitless words as progressiveness, civilization and university life. This, though bombastic, is nonsense.

They follow the guidance and orders of Europe and do not recognize the truth unless it is endorsed by it. According to them, truth is not the antonym of falsehood. Rather, it is what comes from Paris, London, Berlin and New York, even if it is dancing, lewdness, intermixing between the two sexes in the university, unveiling [uncovering] the A‘wrah in athletics and nakedness on the beaches. Falsehood, according to them, is whatever comes from here – from Al-Azhar, the Umayyad Mosque, the eastern schools, and the Islamic Masjids, even if it is virtue, guidance, chastity, or purity of the body and the heart.

Since this is their case, they are liars for there are many families in Europe and America─ as we read and hear about from those who went there─ who do not approve of intermixing between the two sexes. In Paris, please notice (Paris); there are fathers and mothers who do not permit their mature daughters to walk with young men or go with them to the cinema. They do not even let them watch films unless they are certain they are free from lewdness and immorality. Unfortunately, lewdness and immorality enter all these absurdities which are called cinematic art by some trivial, impudent firms which are as ignorant of art as of religion. They claim that intermixing between the opposite sexes mitigates the strong desires, refines morals and purifies the soul from sexual madness.

Let the answer be given by those who experienced intermixing in schools. Russia which does not refer to any religion or heed the words of a Shaykh or a priest– has not it rejected intermixing after it experienced corruption. Also America – have not you read that there is an increase in the rate of pregnant students and that this is one of the problems facing America? Who likes that the same problem would occur in the universities of Egypt, Ash-Shaam or other Muslim countries?

My words are not directed to the young men, and I do not hope that they will listen. I know that they may oppose me and depreciate my words, for I deprive them of the pleasures which they do not believe they have really got.

My words are directed to you, my believing, chaste and religious girls. Only you are the victims. Do not let yourselves be a sacrifice in the slaughterhouse of the devil. Do not listen to those who embellish the life of intermixing in the name of freedom, civilization, progressiveness and university life. Most of these malicious advocates have neither wives nor children. They only seek to fulfill temporary pleasures which they might get from you. I am a father of four girls; so when I defend you, I am also defending my daughters. I seek for you the good which I seek for them.

None of the nonsense which those people call for restores the lost chastity of a girl, her ravished honor or her lost dignity. If the girl falls, none of them will help her. You find all of them jostling for her beauty as long as she has some of it. If she lost her beauty, they leave her like the dogs when they leave a carrion that no longer has a slice of meat.

This is my advice to you, my daughter, and this is the truth. Do not listen to those malicious people, and know that the key of reform is in your hands; not in the hands of men. If you have the intention, you will reform yourself and consequently reform the whole Ummah. Peace and mercy of Allah be upon you.