A Woman Is Married for Four Reasons

03/12/2017| IslamWeb

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for four (reasons): her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion. Choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Noble ancestry results from the good deeds of a man and his forefathers. However, it is construed as wealth in a Marfoo‘ Hadeeth (a narration that is directly attributed to the Prophet including his words, acts, or explicit approval, regardless of the condition of its chain of narrators). It was narrated by At-Tirmithi who classified it as Hasan (good) on the authority of Samurah, may Allah be pleased with him: “Noble ancestry results from wealth, and honor from piety.”

However, wealth is not the intended meaning in this particular Hadeeth (narration), for it is mentioned separately along with it, and this indicates that the former meaning is intended.

The saying: “…lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution)”, is customary speech; thereby the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not intend a supplication.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said, "A marriageable woman should have these two merits; I mean the woman who is characterized by both physical and spiritual beauty."

Physical beauty means the perfection of features, for the more the woman appears beautiful and articulate, the more the eye is comforted by looking at her, and the ear pays attention to her speech, causing the heart to open to her, the breast to expand for her, and the soul to find tranquility in her, in realization of the statement of Allah, The Almighty, (which means): {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.} [Quran 30:21]

On the other hand, spiritual beauty means the perfection of religion and moral character. The more the woman is religious and perfect in moral character, the lovelier she becomes, and the safer the expected outcome is (in case of marriage). A religious woman always complies with the commands of Allah The Almighty, guards her husband’s rights, honor, children and wealth, and helps him obey Allah, The Almighty, whenever she reminds him; and whenever he slackens (in worship), she motivates him, and whenever he grows angry, she pleases him.

Furthermore, a righteous woman always shows affection and respect for her husband, does not delay what he likes her to hasten to, nor hastens what he does not like her to do. When the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, was asked about which woman is good, he said: “She who pleases her husband whenever he looks at her, obeys him whenever he orders her, and does not oppose him in herself and his property with what he dislikes.” [Ahmad and An-Nasaa’i]

The Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, further said: “Marry an affectionate woman who gives birth to many children, for I will vie in glory with the prophets (or he said with the other nations) because of your number (on the Day of Judgment).” [Abu Daawood and An-Nasaa’i]

If it were possible to have a woman who combines both external and internal beauty, that is the perfect combination that brings about happiness and felicity, by the help of Allah, The Almighty. [Kitaab Az-Zawaaj]

The Hadeeth indicates that what leads men to marry a woman is one of those four things, with religion being the last in their priorities. Thus, the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, commanded them not to turn from the religious woman once they find her.

Al-Qaadhi said, “It is the nature of men to have desire for women, and choose such of them as has one of those characteristics, although it is fitting for those with chivalry and religion to make religion the center of their attention in what they get and leave, particularly in such permanent and serious matters (as marriage).” [Tuhfat Al-Ahwathi]

The Hadeeth also indicates that enjoying the company of religious people is preferable in all things, for the one who does so, benefits from their good morals, blessings, and manners. Special emphasis is placed here on the wife, as she is more entitled to be given priority on the basis of her piety, for she is the person with whom he spends most of his time at home, the mother of his children and the trustworthy curator of his property, house and honor.