Compatibility between Spouses – I

12/04/2011| IslamWeb

 What does it mean?

Compatibility amounts to equality and similarity. In a Hadeeth (Prophetic narration), the Prophet, , said: "Muslims are equal in their inviolability of life." [Abu Daawood]

Compatibility in marriage means equality and closeness between the spouses in terms of religiosity and morality, as well as social and financial aspects. Compatibility between the spouses certainly contributes to the success of their marriage, whereas lack of compatibility causes a sort of aversion and leads to separation and discord.

Compatibility includes:

Compatibility in religion: It is considered the foundation of a marriage, and it even constitutes a condition for its validity, according to the unanimous agreement of scholars. Therefore, it is not permissible for a woman to marry a non-Muslim by consensus. A guardian should not give a righteous woman, who is in his charge, in marriage to a Muslim, yet corrupt man. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Wicked women (are) for wicked men, and wicked men (are) for wicked women; and good women (are) for good men, and good men (are) for good women.} [Quran 24:26] 

Though this condition is not a requisite for the validity of the marriage contract, it is very important to consider it. Sometimes the guardian of the woman gives her in marriage to a wicked man and prefers him to a religious man because the wicked man is wealthy or has a high position. The wicked man may work in unlawful jobs, turning away from obedience to Allah The Almighty and neglecting His Orders. Such guardians will be held accountable before Allah The Almighty for destroying their daughters.

It was narrated on the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, , said: "Allah will ask every caretaker about everything that was entrusted to him, whether he preserved it or wasted it, and He will ask the man about his family." [Ibn Hibbaan] 

In Bidaayatul-Mujtahid wa Niyaayatul-Muqtasid, Ibn Rushd, may Allah Have mercy upon him, said, "The Maaliki School of Fiqh states that when the father gives his virgin daughter in marriage to a man who consumes intoxicants (liquor) or a wicked man in general, the daughter has the right to prevent him from establishing conjugal relations with her. In such instances, the judge should investigate the case and separate them. The same ruling applies to the woman whose father gave her in marriage to a man whose money is ill-gotten or who frequently swears by divorce." 

Compatibility in family background: the majority of scholars take this type of compatibility into consideration, with the exception of Imaam Maalik .

Compatibility in wealth: Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.}[Quran 4:34] This is considered by both the Hanafi and Hanbali scholars as well as in one opinion of the Shaafi‘i scholars.

Compatibility in freedom: Both the Hanafi and Hanbali scholars considered compatibility in freedom, with the exception of Imaam Maalik .

Compatibility in work and profession: This is considered by the Hanafi, Shaafi‘i and Hanbali scholars.

Freedom from defects (intolerable defects): This is considered by the Maaliki and Shaafi‘i scholars as well as Ibn ‘Aqeel from the Hanbali scholars.

However, there is a question in this regard: Is compatibility a condition for the validity of marriage? Scholars hold two opinions in this matter. 

First: Compatibility is not a condition for the validity of marriage. This is the preponderant opinion, which represents the opinion of the majority of scholars, including Abu Haneefah, Maalik, Ash-Shaafi‘i and Ahmad in one of his two opinions. This was also reported on the authority of ‘Umar and Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allah be pleased with them.  

The following is evidence that supports this:

·        The Prophet, , gave Zaynab bint Jahsh, may Allah be pleased with her,  (who was from the Banu Asad, which was one of the noblest Arab sub-tribes) to Zayd ibn Haarithah, may Allah be pleased with him (who was an ex-slave). The story was mentioned in the Quran. Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And [remember, O Muhammad], when you said to the one on whom Allah bestowed favor and you bestowed favor, "Keep your wife and fear Allah," while you concealed within yourself that which Allah Is to disclose. And you feared the people, while Allah has more right that you fear Him. So when Zayd had no longer any need for her, We married her to you.} [Quran 33:37] 

 

·        The Prophet, , (who was from the Banu Haashim) gave his two daughters in marriage to ‘Uthmaan ibn ‘Affaan, may Allah be pleased with him, (who was from the Quraysh. The Prophet, , said: “Allah selected Kinaanah from the sons of Ismaa’eel, and selected Quraysh from Kinaanah, and selected Banu Haashim from the Quraysh and He selected me from Banu Haashim." [Muslim] Thus, the one who is from the Banu Haashim is higher in lineage than the one who is from the Quraysh. Nonetheless, the marriage was concluded and became valid.

 

·        The Prophet, , gave Faatimah bint Qays, may Allah be pleased with her, (who was from the Quraysh) to Usaamah ibn Zayd, may Allah be pleased with him, (who was an ex-slave). When Faatimah, may Allah be pleased with her, came to consult the Prophet, about her proposals of marriage from Mu‘aawiyah and Abu Jahm, the Prophet, , said: “As for Mu’aawiyah he is a poor man and has no property, while Abu Jahm does not put down his cane from his shoulder (i.e. frequently beats his wives). So, marry Usaamah.” [Muslim]

 

·        Boasting of family backgrounds is a bad habit of the pre-Islamic era. It was narrated on the authority of Abu Maalik Al-Ash‘ari, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Prophet, , said: "My Ummah has four characteristics that belong to the pre-Islamic era, which they will not abandon: boasting of noble ancestries, vilifying other peoples' genealogies, seeking rain by stars and wailing." [Muslim]

 

·        Allah The Almighty Says (what means): {And marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, and Allah is All-Encompassing and Knowing.} [Quran 24:32] Poverty at the time of marriage does not hinder the marriage because it is probable that money will be gained in the future. 

 

·        Abu Sa‘eed, may Allah be pleased with him, said that Zaynab, the wife of Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allah be pleased with them, said: "O Prophet of Allah! Today you ordered people to give charity and I had an ornament and intended to give it as charity, but Ibn Mas‘ood said that he and his children deserved it more than anybody else.’ The Prophet replied: ‘Ibn Mas‘ood spoke the truth. Your husband and your children have more right to it than anybody else.’" [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] This indicates that she was wealthier than Ibn Mas‘ood, may Allah be pleased with him. Allah knows best. Besides, the Prophet, , concluded the marriage of a poor man, who had only his Izaar (lower garment), to the woman who offered herself to the Prophet, . Moreover, Bilaal, may Allah be pleased with him, married the sister of ‘Abdul-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf, may Allah be pleased with him.

 

·        Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, said, "Abu Hind cupped the Prophet in the middle of his head. The Prophet said: 'O Banu Bayaadhah, marry Abu Hind (to your daughters), and ask him to marry (his daughters) to you. '" Abu Hind was an ex-slave of the Banu Bayaadhah, not from them, and was working as a cupper. Cupping was considered the most menial profession at that time.

 

·        ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, said, "I paid the price of Bareerah's manumission, but her family put the condition that her inheritance would be for them. She mentioned this to the Prophet and he gave her the choice to leave or remain with her husband. Bareerah said, ‘Even if he gave me such-and-such (money), I would not stay with him." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] In another narration on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, the Prophet, , said: "Why do you not return to him?" She said, "O Messenger of Allah! Do you order me to do so?" He said: "No, I only intercede for him." She said, "I do not want him." [Al-Bukhari] The Prophet, , would not intercede to ask her to return to her slave husband unless the marriage was valid.

This is the first opinion with the proofs that compatibility is not a condition for the validity of marriage.  

Second: Compatibility is a condition for the validity of marriage (the less preponderant opinion), which represents the view of Imaam Ahmad in his well-known opinion, Ath-Thawri and some Hanafi scholars. They mentioned a list of proofs most of which are not authentic. Even the authentic proofs do not explicitly stipulate compatibility, nor do they overcome the texts mentioned above.  

After a deep study of the case, Islam does not stipulate compatibility between the spouses except in terms of religion and morals. Also, compatibility requires that the spouses are free from defects which hinder the fulfillment of the purposes of marriage in Islam, such as, when the husband is impotent or abstains from intercourse with women or is bisexual. Therefore, Islam did not stipulate compatibility in family background, as we mentioned earlier.  

Moreover, the Prophet, , married Safiyyah bint Huyayy, may Allah be pleased with her, who was a Jew, and married Juwayriyyah bint Al-Haarith, may Allah be pleased with her, while her family members were polytheists. The Prophet, , gave his daughter Zaynab, may Allah be pleased with her, in marriage to Abu Al-‘Aas ibn Ar-Rabee‘, may Allah be pleased with him, and Al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, married a non-Arab woman from Persia who gave birth to his son ‘Ali Zayn Al-‘Aabideen .

Compatibility between Spouses - II