Wants to take Khul’ as she is not compatible with her husband
19-11-2008 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalam alaykum, Let me first of all thank you for this great web site which help many muslims around the world. May Alah reward you for it Ameen. My question is as follow: I got married 2 months ago and from day one I noticed that I am not compatible with him. I tried my best but in vain. The man has good values and practices Islam as much as he can, but his personal hygiene and his eating and table manners put me right off. Moreover, His level of education is so low that we cant hold a basic conversation and if we do have a conversation, it is always me correcting him as he has not got a clue. When I first discuss marriage issues with him he said that I dont have to work and I do not want to work either, but from the first month I have been paying from my own expenses and lately he has been asking me for money!! ( I told him I have some money saved). I do not like anything about him physically and I fear that I will disobey him and therefore displease Allah. My dilemma is I live in a non muslim country and I cant go back to my original country just yet but in another hand I do not want to live with this man. Can I ask for Khulo from this man and ask my wakeel ( my dad appointed the local Imam as his Wakeel) to look for a pious man for me who will be compatible with me so that I can live in Hallal until we make hijra back to a muslim country? Also, can you explain to me the form of Khulo and how should it be performed, and what do I have to say and my husband for the Khulo to be valid? Do we need witnesses for the Khulo as I dont want to embarrass the man in the community and keep the kholo between us until the iddah is over inshallah? Wa jazaka allahu ani kolla aljazaa.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Since that man is as you mentioned that he has a good moral character and is religious, then we advise you not to hasten to ask for divorce or Khul’. The best things that should be taken into account in marrying a person is religion and a good moral character, and all the things which you mentioned can be solved.
Therefore, we advise you to be patient with him and advise him in a good and gentle manner about all those matters. You should clarify to him that he is obliged to spend on you and not to take from your money. The same thing applies to cleanliness and other habits which you do not like about eating. All this can be solved and if this happens there would be no problems.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86646 and 85361.
It might be that if you separate from him and married another man, you might be in a greater problem with the new husband than your first husband, and then you would regret when regrets will be of no avail.
Therefore, we advise you to take the matter easy and seek the Help of Allaah and then the help of the righteous and pious people whom you think will help you in rectifying your husband.
After all this, if you don’t find a way for reconciliation and you fear to be negligent in regard to the rights of your husband, then you have the right to ask for Khul’. If a wife gives a compensation for her husband in return for him separating from her, and the husband pronounced Khul’ or other words which mean Khul’, then Khul’ has taken place. For Khul’ to be effective, it does not need the ruling of a (Muslim) Judge; it is desirable to have witnesses about it but this is not an obligation.
If a woman obtains Khul’ from her husband, it is not permissible for her to marry another man until her waiting period expires and it is not permissible for her to marry except with the permission of her guardian.
The authorization in the first marriage is not enough; rather, it is your guardian who should authorize him in marrying you off to the other man.
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 87728 and 89039.
Allaah Knows best.