A second wife treated unjustly
29-1-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
Salamalecom i'm a second wife and my marriage contract was done by my wali who is a sheikh.The acceptance and dua for marriage was done infront of witnesses but the signing of the contract was done a month later,and the only person to see me sign the contract was my husband not even the wali.Can a man request before marriage that the woman not have children for 2 to 3 years?He also said he supports the first wife and occasionally helps a divorced sister ,but can't support the second wife fully.I recieve money from the government for my son and now that money goes on food and housing?Its been nearly 3 mths into the marriage and he's not having much contact by emai or phone and when he does he's formal in conversation without affection.I have emailed him asking about the support but havn't recieved any response .is my marriage valid and what are my rights?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If the matter is as you mentioned in the question that your marriage took place with the consent of your guardian and the presence of the witnesses, then it is a valid marriage. Writing the contract or not writing it does not have any effect on the validity of the marriage contract. The purpose of writing the contract is to authenticate the marriage contract and preserve the rights of the spouses; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 083629.
It is your right that your husband offers you a dowry and be just between you and his first wife in regard to spending and providing for you and staying overnight with you. It is not permissible to prevent you from these rights unless you agree, and it is your right to ask him to spend on you and ask for other rights. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85361 and 83631.
Moreover, he should have good marital relationships with you and speak to you gently and he should contact you and ask about you.
Nonetheless, we advise you to be patient with him and advise him in a gentle and soft manner.
However, you did not mention to us whether or not he consummated the marriage with you. If he had consummated the marriage with you, then he is obliged to be just between you and his first wife in regard to spending on you and staying overnight with you, as we already mentioned. But if he had not consummated the marriage with you, and you fear that the marital life will not be successful, then it might be better to ask for divorce. This is better than divorce which happens after the consummation of marriage and after having children. If divorce takes place before the consummation of the marriage, then you deserve half of the dowry.
On the other hand, it should be noted that if the husband did not consummate the marriage with his wife and he did not stay with her in seclusion [behind closed doors without anyone being present], then he is not obliged to spend on her. However, if she is a woman who is physically able to have sexual intercourse, and she offered herself to her husband and enabled him to consummate the marriage with her, even virtually, then the husband is obliged to spend on her from the moment she offered herself to him.
Moreover, a husband should not condition not to have children from his wife even for a limited period unless there is a need for that; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 87397.
Nonetheless, if there is a need for it, and the wife consented to it, then she is obliged to fulfill this condition. The Prophet said: “The conditions that must be most fulfilled are those by which you made the private parts (of your wives) lawful.”
Allaah Knows best.