Her husband suspects her and abuses her verbally
9-3-2009 | IslamWeb
Question:
As Salam alaikum. I am from Canada & live with my parents & brother. I recently got married & it’s exactly 6months to our wedding. My husband is from INDIA & I am sponsoring him here. I stayed with him for 10 days in India. This proposal was clearly posted in Newspaper that I am a Canadian immigrant & working lady & that what they liked as the first choice. Pre-Wedding I had to travel for my Project & after wedding I traveled only once with his permission . But till date he always comment me saying I stayed in hotel for 3 nights & comment me that I slept in Bar & Danced in hotel & I have no shame to be a working women. & he said if he knew I wear jeans I wont have married you ALHAMDULILLAH I do a proper hijab & he started using bad words the Desi abusive language (Big Galli). Seriously I never spoke to any other guy after my marriage now He was so eager to get my hotmail password as he suspect I am talking to boys .sometimes he call me in the night at 11PM & start his abusive language & shout at me at the end he name me something in urdu which mean prostitute. He once told me in anger that he will burn me & beat me with his shoe if ever I come to India. Recently he was suspecting me i became so irritated that I used bad word.. my dad tried to speak to him over phone & he misbehaved with him & later used abusive language to my mom also. & situation became worse. He talked to my mom & told whatever came to his mouth & had a big conversation. Couple eg: He said to my mom : Yes you have given a beautiful angel to me in dowry ( HURPARI). You have sent her to stay in hotal all alone how can I live with her, You send her to earn & you people are very bad .My situation is so bad. I am afraid of my secure future. If I go to India they will treat me badly for sure my mother – in – law is asking me to come India & WORK .I sense that he is not a working man & he has no morals. Please let me know what should I do.My relatives and parents want me to ask for divorce. Is it right?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, it should be mentioned that it is the husband who is required to spend on his wife and not the contrary. Furthermore, a husband should not be pleased by his wife spending on him as long as he is able to earn. Furthermore, if you had conditioned on your husband at the time of the marriage contract to reside in Canada and not with him in India and he accepted this condition, then he has no right to ask you to reside with him in India. However, if you did not condition this on him, then he has the right to ask you to reside with him and you are obliged to accept his demand. In both cases, your husband is obliged to live with you in kindness as we clarified in Fataawa 88304 and 86618. Also, you are obliged to obey him and live with him in kindness.
If a wife is disobedient –meaning that she disobeys her husband in things that she is obliged to do –then he should admonish her and remind her of Allaah. If admonishing is of no avail to her, then he may turn his back to her in bed, and if this is again of no avail, then he may hit her slightly, as Allaah Says (what means): {But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance — [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally] strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allaah is ever Exalted and Grand.}[Quran 4:34] If all the above procedures are of no avail as well, then her husband may divorce her in good terms. As regards insulting, then this is not one of the moral conducts of the believers.
With regard to a wife asking for divorce, if she has no sound reason, it is not permissible for her to ask for divorce as the Prophet said: "Any woman who asks her husband to divorce her, without a religiously accepted reason, the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her." [Abu Daawood] However, if she has a sound reason for asking for divorce, then she is permitted to ask for divorce. If her husband refuses, then she may ask for Khul’ as we clarified in Fatwa 89039.
Therefore, if what you mentioned about your husband is correct, then this may be a sound reason for asking for divorce. Hence, we advise you to take your matter to one of the Islamic centres whose people in charge are trustworthy about their religion, so that they may look at your problem from all sides and they would clarify to you your rights and what you are obliged to do.
Furthermore, you should know that it is not permissible for a woman to travel alone without being accompanied with a Mahram, and if she is married, it is also not permissible for her to travel without the consent of her husband and if she does so, she is disobedient.
Moreover, a Muslim woman should be bashful and abide in her home as much as possible. If the woman goes out so often, travels so often and mixes with men at work, then this is contrary to the teachings of the Islamic law (Sharee’ah). Allaah Says (what means): {And abide in your houses.}[Quran 33:33]
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 82399.
Allaah Knows best.