A wife delaying sexual intercourse until her wedding is done

9-7-2009 | IslamWeb

Question:

I recently divorced a man who aparently married me only for the green card and we never islamically got married or consimated the marriage ,so I am still a virgin.
Now I got married again to another man except Islamically not legally yet (a local Muslim from the board of "shura" from the masjid preformed the nikah without legal papers per MY request) This man also needs a green card and I do not wish to be legally married to him until he proves himself worthy in other words until we have a child together instead of refusing to consumate the marriage like my first husband.
Anyway we had akad nikah but have yet to have the actual marriage and he asks for sex,I do not want to have sex until we are both under one roof and the wedding happens,am I allowed to refuse him sex? He says I am not because he is my husband but I say until we are living under one roof and EVERYONE is aware that we are islamically married and we have the wedding I will not give my virginity to a man that can easily walk away (he lives in a different state) and we are to move to his state first.
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

It is permissible for you to refrain from having sexual intercourse with your husband during this period as long as the wedding did not take place; this is the best and most appropriate thing to do, taking the customs and traditions into account.

Hence, your refusal to have sexual intercourse with your husband is not considered as a disobedience or rebellion towards your husband, and we have already clarified this in Fatwa 91942.

However, we advise you to hasten to conduct the wedding so that the delay in conducting it will not cause disputes and dissension with your husband who asks you for sexual intercourse.

For more benefit on the conditions of a correct marriage, please refer to Fatwa 83629.

Allaah Knows best.

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