A girl contacting a marriageable man like a brother
7-1-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
Alsalaam o Alaykom.. i'm on my early twenties, i met a guy on my teenager years and i didnt have the full knowladge of beening in a realtionship,,,i gave this person my self for 2 years doing haram stuff and from the haram stuff. Anyway, i cut my realtion with this person and i said that i wont give myself to a guy that much. i know that from (SHOROOT ALTAWBAH) that u dont go back to the bad thing that u did before for the(TAWBAH) to be acceptable, and of course i wont give myself to someone like what happened before,, but there things that i want to know from you if these things will effect my TAWBAH or if they're effecting my tawbah,,,,??? if there's a guy who's like a brother lives in other country he calls sometimes to ask about how i'm doing, Will it be bad for me to call him back to ask about how he's doing and thanks him for calling or Even if i called him before he calls in ramadan or in eid to wish him a good times or if i saw him and talk to him on the net Is that haram as well? Even though this person at one point he wanted to ask for my hand but i didnt wont that and now he knows that i accapt him as a brother,,, Is that ever effected or effecting my tawbah specially that my NEYAH wasnt bad? Jazaakom Allah kel khair InshaAllah,,,,,
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed, you did well by repenting from this relationship and from committing Zina (fornication or adultery). Now, you are obliged to avoid any means that may lead you to this sin in the future.
Therefore, you are not allowed to let any non-Mahram young man to talk with you and you are not permitted to talk to him on the phone or through the internet in order to ask about him or to congratulate him on the occasion of Ramadan or ‘Eed, or to thank him for contacting you, etc. All these are means that may lead you to unpleasant consequences and to committing the same sin again. Allaah Says (what means): {O, you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of the devil. And whosoever follows the footsteps of the devil, then, verily he commands Al-Fahsha' [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.)] and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds, to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam, etc.)}[Quran 24:21]
Moreover, this young man is not like your brother as you mentioned, rather, he is a non-Mahram man to you and you are obliged to totally avoid him. So, you should not write to him in order to apologize to him or anything else, and it does not matter what he may think of you. Indeed, you may change any means by which he may contact you, like your phone number and your e-mail address and so forth. The only exception that could be made is only the case of necessity or dire need, like giving a fiancé the number of your father or one of your male Mahrams so that the matters of your marriage could be arranged, and the like.
Allaah Knows best.