Her husband's dispute with her family ruined her marriage

14-4-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

my husband says I will be divorce if i said alsalam alikom or talk to my mom and dad or sister or brother my mom called me last week and I spok with her because I like to solve this problem after over 5 years what the fatwa of that in islam I'm divored or not I talked to my husband so many times I ask him to return me and he dosen't want to I have 4 years old boy and he dosn't want me he want to keep the boy with him I live in USA my family in syria they ask me to come back but I can't leave my son my husband fit with my family and even my family they don't want to support me unless I came back to syria I need advice what i should do

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

First of all, we ask Allaah to make a way out for you from your difficulty and distress and to rectify the matter between your family and your husband. We advise you to supplicate to Allaah as much as possible as He is the All-Hearer and He answers the supplication (of the one who supplicates Him).

If your husband continues on the condition that you mentioned in the question to such an extent that advising him and admonishing him are of no avail, then we advise you to balance between the two harms: the harm of staying with him and the harm of separating from him, and then you should act according to the lesser harm.

As regards his statement that if you talk to your family you will be divorced, then this is not a clear statement of divorce, so divorce does not take place except with intention. If we presume that his intention was divorce, and the divorce took place accordingly, then it is your right to foster your child as long as you do not remarry or travel to another country, because in this case it is the father who has the right of fostering. Al-Mardaawi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him from the Hanbali School of jurisprudence, said: “If either parent wants to travel to a distant and safe country in order to live there, then the father has more right in fostering the child.

Moreover, Ibn Taymiyyah  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “If the husband resides in a country other than the country of the mother, then it is him who has the right in the fostering and not the mother, even though the mother has more right in the fostering than him when they are in the same country. This is also the view of the Four School of jurisprudence.

However, if your travel was for a necessity, then you do not lose your right in the fostering as long as the travel is safe.

Finally, it should be noted that it is not permissible for a husband to prevent his wife from talking to her family as this is helping her in cutting the ties of kinship with her relatives.

Allaah Knows best.

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