Wants to keep chatting with his cousin to protect her from temptation
6-6-2010 | IslamWeb
Question:
Asalam aleykum, i would like to have an answer in regardance to my question please,i happened to be in love with my cousin sister whom we have planned Inshaallah to get married after we all complete our post graduate studies!! We ussually chat via sms like daily, but Alhamdullah we try as much as possible to avoid dicuss matters divergant on the islamic teachings,what i might say is wrong is "i love you" "mwahs" text which we share, butmy only woorry is if i seize to chat with her, much fitnaa will carry her since she is living in a city where majority are christians unlike me Alhamdullah i live in an islamic town, and besides i engage my self in much ta'leem activities, and Alhamdullah i have a better knowledge of deen than her, so i am taking it also as an opportunity to help her and me myself to try and follow the right path!!! My greatest fear is that if i tell her that we should stop chatting, i am afraid the fitna around her will take her and since her ilm is not good and the surrounding she lives in is very dangerous!!! shukran
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If Allaah puts in the heart of a Muslim man the love of a woman, then he should keep himself chaste and not commit with her what Allaah has forbidden. Talking with that woman in the manner which you mentioned in the question is not permissible and it is one of footsteps of the devil and if you follow it, it may lead you to what is more serious. Allaah Says (what means): {O, you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of the devil. And whosoever follows the footsteps of the devil, then, verily he commands Al-Fahsha' [i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.)] and Al-Munkar [disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds, to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islam, etc.)}[Quran 24:21]
The signs of this are clear as you have exchanged with her expressions of love and the like. Therefore, you are both obligated to repent and stop what you are doing. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 133626, 84444 and 81356.
As for your statement “I am taking it as an opportunity to help her and myself to try and follow the right path” is nothing but a lure from the devil. Also, with regard to your statement “if I cease to chat with her, much Fitnah (temptation) will carry her”, then by chatting with her, you had already fallen into temptation. Moreover, she is obliged in principle to avoid the reasons of temptation, and if she fears about herself and her religion by residing in that environment, then she is obliged to migrate to a place where she would feel secure about herself and her religion.
As regards giving excuses for not cutting this relationship that if you inform her that this is forbidden, she may be exposed to the reasons of temptation due to that, then first of all, this is just an illusion, and secondly the contrary may happen, because if you inform her that the ruling of religion necessitates this, it might lead her to avoid such a thing with any other person, so this will be a protection for her from temptation. Even if we presume that she is really tempted (after you had informed her), then she is the one who wronged herself and you are not sinful for this.
With regard to what you mentioned about religious knowledge, then this should lead you to keep the limits of Allaah because a sin committed by a person who knows that is a sin is more abominable.
Finally, we would say that she may ask her guardian to conduct the marriage contract with you so that she will Islamically become your wife, and then you may delay the consummation of the marriage until you finish your studies.
Allaah Knows best.