His mother abandoned his father after 65 years of marriage

21-6-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

my mother abondened my father after 65 years of marriage ,he is notdisabled not sick .My mother says she want to live by her self she tired of loocking after him , she wants tolive by herself .we live abroad we share him between 2 brothers in 2 differnt countries.Does my mother has the right to do this to my father after all this years toghters ,and who should be responsable for loocking after him .

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

On one hand, a wife is ordered to have good marital relationship with her husband in the same way that the husband is ordered to have good marital relationship with his wife. Allaah Says (what means): {And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.}[Quran 2:228] On the other hand, Allaah made the husband the protector and provider of his wife, so she is obliged to obey him within what is permissible. Moreover, she is not permitted to go out of his home without his permission otherwise she is considered as a rebellious wife and she is disobedient to her Lord. Let alone if she deserts her husband completely and leaves his home or that she drives him out of his home, as, in this case, the matter becomes even more forbidden and more sinful.

In addition to the sin, your mother has prevented herself from much good and has closed to herself one of the doors of Paradise. ‘Abdurrahmaan ibn ‘Awf  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “When a woman prays her five obligatory prayers, fasts her month [i.e. Ramadan], keeps her private parts chaste (from any illegal relationship) and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: “Enter Paradise from any gate you wish.” [Ahmad]

Besides, according to the most preponderant opinion of the jurists  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them a wife is obliged to serve her husband according to the customs and we clarified this in Fatwa 86344. Therefore, it is not permissible for your mother to refuse to serve her husband. Even if we presume that she became bored from serving him, this is not a sound reason for her to do what she did. If a wife is bored from staying with her husband, the Sharee’ah has made for her a way out which is that she can ask her husband for Khul’ in return for compensation that she pays to him.

Therefore, we advise you to admonish your mother and remind her of Allaah and of the religious rulings about what she did in the light of the above arguments.

Also, if your father needs care or someone to spend on him, then it is his children who are responsible for this each according to his ability. Besides, it is not permissible for the children to expose him to harm otherwise they are sinful.

Finally, you should avoid mistreating your mother in any case. For more benefit on the excellence of being kind and dutiful to the parents, please refer to Fataawa 82254 and 84942

Allaah Knows best.

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