Is the wife entitled to take back what she has spent on her husband?
21-2-2012 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have been married for two years and I try to provide for my family as far as possible, spending every penny I earn on them without saving anything. My wife works but does not share any expenses under the pretext that she is not responsible for spending her money on the family. She helped me a little when I lost my job by paying the rent of the house. However, I discovered that she spends about 3000 dollars in shopping a month while she insists that she is not responsible for paying the bills. Now I want to divorce her, not for this reason, but for other reasons, such as disobeying me. Also, her family turns her against me. I am abroad now and when I asked her to go to her parents' house, she took almost half of the possessions of my house and most of its valuable things, in return for what she paid for the rent of the house when I was unemployed. What is the Sharee‘ah ruling on divorcing her for this reason? Am I obliged to pay her the deferred part of the dowry even though she took almost half of the possessions of my house and most of its valuable things while I was absent?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all we advise you not to divorce your wife if she is a well-mannered and righteous woman. However, this does not affect the fact that the wife's disobedience to her husband is absolutely prohibited, though it has a remedy other than divorce as prescribed by the Sharee‘ah (Islamic law).
The Quran directs the husband whose wife disobeys him as follows: Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them.} [Quran 4:34]. Thus, the husband should not resort to divorce until other solutions prescribed by the Sharee‘ah prove fruitless.
You should know that the woman is not financially responsible under the Sharee‘ah. Rather, this is the responsibility of the husband alone. However, there is no doubt that the Sharee‘ah has recommended the wife to help her husband in the financial expenses of life since this strengthens and maintains the relationship between the two spouses.
Consequently, if the woman helped her husband by spending some of her money as a debt then she is entitled to ask her husband to repay this debt at any time, but in case of being insolvent, she should wait until he finds money. On the other hand, if she helped him voluntarily, then she has no right to demand that her husband repay what she paid.
In any case, taking the husband's possessions from his house without his knowledge under the pretext that she had helped him features violation of others' possessions. It is impermissible for her to do so and she must return the things she took. Nevertheless, the husband has to repay what she gave him as a debt.
Allaah Knows best.