Her husband does not fulfill her rights and refuses to give her Khul’
2-7-2012 | IslamWeb
Question:
i have been married for 4 years and my husband is working in call center and he is always having night duty. He is having problem with sexual intercourse and he cannot produce children as he is suffering from severe oligospermia and premature ejaculation and he is not at all interested in me. And he does not want to do any treatments and he has to give about 90% of his salary at home and other 10% he will spend on himself. I am earning and spending my own money on my needs since my marriage, and my husband clearly says that he does not have money to spend on me or to his own treatment , even his parents says that I am not having any right on my husband’s salary. And I am BEARING his treatment EXPENSES. He always spends his time with his friends outside and does not give me his time either . He behaves with me so rudely even his family members will treat me like a slave. I am unable to bear this and I have decided to take Qulah from him but he is too cunning to give me Talaq or accepts my Qulah because he is afraid that his weaknesses will come out and he is telling me that i should remain like this only how iam today. When I consulted our senior person at Qazayat office they are telling that until and unless my husband accepts my Qulah then only i will be free from being his wife. My husband is taking advantage of this that I can’t do anything and I am in his hands only. In Shariyat office also they are telling the same that husband should accept my Qulah. I have done every single thing for him to have a peaceful married life inspite of all everybody is torturing me and his behavior towards me is Very Very BAD. I can’t stay with him now. I want to ask you according to islam, can Head of the authorities at the Qazayat office or any other head office of Shariyat office can grant me Qulah, if my husband does not want to accept it. Please issue me fatwa on this.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
A husband is Islamically required to have good marital relationship with his wife and fulfill her rights as we clarified in Fatwa 88304.
There are a number of matters which are considered as rights of the wife among which are the following:
1- Sexual intercourse: The husband should have sexual intercourse with his wife according to her wish and his ability.
2- Spending: The husband is obliged to spend on his wife even if she is rich. Besides, she has the right to ask him to reimburse her for all the expenses that she had spent on herself [while being married to him]; for more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85012. However, the wife has the right to ask her husband for her rights, but she has no right to object to his spending on his family.
3- Having children: The husband has no right to prevent his wife from having children without a Sharee’ah-compliant reason.
In any case, if your husband is as you mentioned, then he is having bad marital relationship with you and he is negligent about a number of your rights upon him. Hence, we advise you to be patient with him and supplicate Allaah to rectify him. Also, you should advise him in a gentle manner and clarify to him these rights and that he is obliged to fulfill them. You should also urge him to find a way for his treatment whether in regard to premature ejaculation or in regard to oligospermia. If he accepts and repels the harm off you, praise be to Allaah, and if he refuses, then you have the right to ask for divorce or Khul’ and he should accept it. Some scholars are even of the view that the husband is obliged to accept divorce or Khul’ if the marital relationship between him and his wife is impossible as we clarified in Fatwa 174941.
Based on this, if your husband refuses to accept, you should take your case to the Sharee’ah court and the judge should remove the harm off you. He may oblige the husband to accept your divorce or Khul’ as the Sharee’ah came to remove harm, and among its known rules is that “the harm should be removed” and this is taken from the saying of the Prophet 
: "There should be no harm nor reciprocal harm.”
On the other hand, we do not know whether what you mentioned is what is applied in the Sharee’ah court in your country. In any case, if we presume that the situation is as you mentioned, then you should look for another means like seeking the help of some rational people from your relatives or the relatives of your husband so that they would try to convince him either to keep you in kindness or to release you in kindness.
Allaah Knows best.