How to deal with a spouse with mental disorder

17-1-2014 | IslamWeb

Question:

Asalualikum, I wish to know how to deal with a sociopath spouse (A confirmed case of sociopath/psychopath) who tries to grab all ones resources, is absolutely and utterly irresponsible for his/her actions which hurts everbody around him/her without having any guilt or remourse. Person has ruined marital life of spouse and nothing seems work. Even child out of marriage gets affected. Please guide in light of Quran and Sharia.
Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) is His Slave and Messenger.

If one of the spouses is afflicted with the other's mental disorder, then there are some matters that should be taken into account in this case:

1. Patience: It is the best thing one should resort to at times of affliction. If a person is patient, then this would raise his degrees and expiate his sins. For more benefit on the virtue of patience when afflicted, please refer to Fatwa 83577.

2. Supplicating for him to be healed, as the supplication of a Muslim for his Muslim brother is desirable, and it is even more emphatic for spouses because of their marital relationship. Allaah responds to the supplication of a person in distress and He makes a way for him out of his difficulties; Allaah says (what means): {Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allaah? Little do you remember.} [Quran 27:62] Also, Allaah ordered us to pray to Him and He promised us to answer our prayers; Allaah says (what means): {And your Lord says, Call upon Me; I will respond to you.” Indeed, those who disdain My worship will enter Hell [rendered] contemptible.} [Quran 40:60]

3. Helping him to seek treatment whether by consulting specialist doctors or by performing Ruqyah, which is useful in all cases with the permission of Allaah as we clarified in Fataawa 92491 and 131372.

4. If it is possible to be patient and not resort to divorce, then this is better, but if it becomes evident that the benefit is in divorce, then one should seek divorce. Sometimes divorce is the solution. Ibn Qudaamah may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “The situation between the spouses may become very bad, and keeping the marriage would be a great disadvantage and an unadulterated harm, such as if it involves obligating the husband to provide expenses and housing, and keep the wife in a bad marital relationship and permanent disputes without benefit. This requires terminating the marriage in order to remove the harm resulting from it.”

Finally, it should be mentioned that it is not permissible for a spouse to violate the property of the other spouse or dispose of it without his/her proper consent and permission. The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “It is not permissible to take the property of a Muslim except with his/her consent.” [Ahmad]

There is no doubt that it would be wise and prudent for a spouse not to let the other take his/her property if they have a mental condition that may make him/her act irresponsibly.

We ask Allaah for health and wellness.

Allaah Knows best.

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