A fiancée's obedience to Allaah is more binding than obedience to her fiancé
10-3-2011 | IslamWeb
Question:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, and may His peace and blessings be upon His Messenger Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.
Is the fiancée who performs religious duties in obedience to the orders of her fiancé considered a religious woman? Should he do his best to marry her? Should not she do so out of her fear of Allaah The Almighty in order to be considered a righteous wife?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
There is no doubt that a woman who performs her religious duties willingly and for fear of the punishment of Allaah The Almighty and in search of His reward is a righteous woman that the Sharee‘ah (Islamic law) urges every Muslim man to marry. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. Select the religious one, lest you should lose.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
As for the fiancée who observes religious duties only for the sake of her fiancé rather than to seek the reward of Allaah The Exalted, we draw her attention to the fact that she should be more keen on receiving the reward of Allaah The Almighty and should give precedence to obedience to Him over any other thing.
Nevertheless, observing religious duties and keenness on acts of worship may encourage her later to do so for the sake of Allaah The Almighty.
In any case, such a woman has a quality that is required in a good wife, namely, obedience to her husband, not to mention adherence to religion that is one of the greatest good deeds.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:
- “Shall I not tell you about the best thing a man may treasure? A righteous woman (wife) who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders her and preserves his money and guards her chastity when he is absent.” [Abu Daawood and Al-Haakim]
- Abu Umaamah 
reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Nothing gained by a Muslim, other than fear of Allaah, is better than a righteous wife who obeys him when he orders her, pleases him when he looks at her, does what he asks her by Allaah to do and preserves his money and guards her chastity when he is absent.” [Ibn Maajah]
Finally, this man should make use of his status in the heart of this woman, who is truly keen on marrying him, in guiding her to Allaah The Almighty through giving her beneficial audio and video materials as well as books that encourage her to do good deeds and refrain from committing prohibitions for the sake of Allaah The Almighty alone.
Allaah Knows best.