Forgiveness is better than retaliation
15-2-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
salaam, i have a question regarding on forgiveness. this 40ish year old man came and started insulting me because i LEGALLY overtaked him on the road. i went to pick up my little brothers from an islamic school, and he had to pick up his son as well, so when i was in the line he came next to me, rolled down his windows and started insulting me and threw trash at me, also calling me trash and threatening to beat me. i am 16 and tried to remain as cool as possible, as i had every right to overtake him and i COMPLETELY made sure that it was safe as possible. after calling me trash and insulting me he felt he needed to question my morality and the type of muslim i am. this made me extremely furious and since my little brother was in the car i didn't want to use any profanity, but i just made gestures (with my hand) to show him I'm not gonna sit quite anymore. he then decides to come out and physically harm me(remember i am 16 years old and he is around 40ish) i then went to my trunk and picked up bats to show i wasn't gonna let him have his way. then the school authority came and finally stopped it. since i'm 16 i told my dad what happened and he became furious. he went to the school and requested that he better apologize to me or my dad will get the cops and his lawyer. the school then pleaded that give them a day and they will try to arrange a meeting with him. the next day the school told us that the man apologized to THEM and we should forgive them in the name of Allah. i have been a hafiz for 5 years and to my understanding if they don't ask the person they wronged(me) to forgive them, then i don't need to forgive them. now that is my question, i told them that he needs to apologize to me as he had insulted me and threw trash at me not the school. so i think he should apologize to me. since i feel like the people here know more than i do, i would like to know if there is anything bad that i am doing. please tell me as he doesn't want to apologize to me, jazakallah
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His Slave and Messenger.
If you did not do anything wrong to this man, then he is the one who transgressed by insulting you, throwing trash at you, and attempting to assault you. In the Islamic Sharee'ah, one has the right to retaliate proportionally against an offense. Allaah says (what means):
• {And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed. But if you are patient - it is better for those who are patient.}[Quran 16:126]
• {Allaah does not like the public mention of evil except by one who has been wronged. And ever is Allaah Hearing and Knowing.}[Quran 4:148]
However, forgiveness is better than retaliation. We have underlined this issue along with the religious evidence supporting it in Fatwa 84351. We advise you to choose pardon and forgiveness; verily, Allaah, The Exalted, increases the honor of a person who pardons and restrains himself, as the Prophet taught us.
Allaah knows best.