Depressed and frustrated for inability to be like the Companions
23-3-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
I have a problem with my heart. Every time I hear stories of the Sahaba and how honored they were, I get upset and very feel bad about myself. I feel like I don't have any value in the eyes of the Muslims compared to them. I also wish that I actually was a Sahabi so my rank in Jannah would be higher and I would not have to see so much bid'ah around me. I know that my actions aren't even close to that of a Sahabi, but this is a disease in my heart. How can I get rid of this disease?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we ask Allaah to relieve us and you from every evil and affliction and to bless us and you with following the example of the Companions 
.
It is good that you wish you were a Companion, but it is known that this is something impossible. However, you should work on loving them in order to be close to them. It was authentically narrated that a man asked the Prophet about the Hour. He asked: “When is the hour?” The Prophet replied: “What have you prepared for it?” He said: “Nothing, but I love Allaah and His Messenger." Thereupon, the Prophet said: “You will be with whom you love.” Anas 
said: “We had never been as overjoyed as when the Prophet, said, 'You will be with whom you love.' Anas further said: I love the Prophet, and Abu Bakr and 'Umar and I hope to be with them because of my love for them even though I have not done as many good deeds as them." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
You should also read about their biographies and virtues in order to follow their guidance and example as they had learnt from the Prophet and followed his guidance. ‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood narrated that the Prophet said: “There is no Prophet whom Allaah sent in a nation before me except that he had disciples and companions from his nation, who follow his Sunnah and obey his orders…” [Muslim]
However, feeling depressed, frustrated and having whispers because of what you mentioned is a serious matter which may prevent you from aspiring for excellence and being determined to achieve it. Therefore, you should endeavor to get out of this situation to safety and supplicate Allaah to relieve you from this hardship. Allaah says (what means): {Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allaah? Little do you remember.}[Quran 27:62] Also, you should remember Allaah much and seek His forgiveness in order to feel assurance. Allaah says (what means): {Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allaah. Unquestionably by the remembrance of Allaah hearts are assured.”}[Quran 13:28]
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 140015.
Allaah knows best.