Issues related to the validity of marriage and divorce
11-7-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
my question is i am a married woman and my age is 21 and my husband live out of the country we did nikkah in court and my parents does not know about this,i did nikkah.only my husband family knows it that we did nikkah in court and they are witness. me and my husband was chatting on whats app via internet my husband asked me to take khula but i refused it and also told that i am not in a favour of khula and divorce also, after some mins he wrote me ok if you not take khula i give you divorced than he wrote his full name then my full name i give you talak 3 times after 2 days we both again chatting nicely.my inlaws asked to mufti he said no talak after some days again asked he said yes talak.can you please tell me is it divorced or not ? and when my husband wrote talak he were in another country n i were in another country n i was in my periods days. in this case what should i do? my husband is saying i was normal when i was giving talak. but i dont want divorced n he also.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and messenger.
The jurists differed in opinion about the ruling on a woman marrying off herself by herself. The most preponderant opinion, in our view, which is also the view of the majority of the scholars, is that such a marriage is void contrarily to the view adopted by Abu Haneefah who maintained that it is valid. For more information, please refer to Fataawa 83629 and 86301.
So, if you acted in that manner out of your adoption of the view of Abu Haneefah, then the marriage is valid.
On the other hand, if the statement of divorce that was issued by your husband either in words or in writing was in the present tense like ‘I give you divorce’, then this is not a clear statement of divorce and divorce does not take place unless the husband had actually intended it. This is clarified in Fatwa 198269.
Also, writing the words of divorce itself is a metaphor (indirect expression) of divorce, in which case, divorce does not take place except with an intention. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 174947.
Moreover, there is a difference of opinion about divorcing three times in one session. The majority of the scholars are of the view that such divorce takes place three times and this is the view we adopt here in Islamweb. However, Shaykhul Islam Ibn Taymiyyah 
is of the view that divorce takes place one time only. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 82330 and 168591.
As regards the divorce of a woman during her menstruation period, even though it is not complying to the Sunnah, it takes place according to the majority of the jurists. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 81864.
Nonetheless, it is not a condition that the wife is present or that she hears the words of divorce from her husband for the divorce to take place. For more information, please refer to Fatwa 85343.
Obviously, there are many details about the matter. In addition, asking the husband about his intention and other matters should be investigated. So you need to resort to an Islamic court or orally ask a trustworthy scholar about your case.
Finally, we advise the spouses to have affection and harmony, and avoid problems and dispute. Also, both of them should endeavor to solve the problems far from the words of divorce and not let the devil spoil their relationship and break up their family.
Allaah Knows best.