Extremism or Adherence to Religion?
14-2-2012 | IslamWeb
Question:
Allaah blessed me with a righteous wife; she is knowledgeable and very concerned about her religious matters, however she goes to extremes in religion to the extent that she makes me sick of life. Please advise me regarding what I should do with her.
May Allaah reward you.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You should thank Allaah The Almighty that He granted you a religious wife because a righteous wife is a comfort of the eyes of the husband and helps him obey Allaah The Almighty, carry out his duties, and bring up the children.
It was narrated on the authority of ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Amr 
that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "This worldly life is a passing pleasure, and the best pleasure of this worldly life is a righteous wife." [Muslim, An-Nasaa’i, and Ibn Maajah] You have to fear Allaah The Almighty regarding her.
If going to extremes in religion means that she adheres to the teachings of Islam such as wearing Hijab (Islamic covering), not intermixing with non-Mahram (marriageable) men, and not shaking hands with them, this is not called extremism. This is adherence to Islam and carrying out the Sharee‘ah (Islamic legislation) of Allaah – a praiseworthy matter for which she is not to be reproached and you should be happy with it. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.} [Quran 33:38]
If you mean that she is really an extremist and exaggerating matters, or that she neglects your rights and the rights of your house and children by performing too many prayers, fasting, night prayers, and keeping herself busy with seeking knowledge in a way that negatively affects her marital duties, she should be advised to carry out her duties. You have to be patient with her and instruct her kindly. It would be preferable if you mentioned the activities that you think are religious extremism to see if they are extremism or not.
Allaah Knows best.