How to Advise a Sinning Father and an Unemployed Brother
10-2-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamu alaikum! I am really in a grave situation and i really need a help.Not even a day i live in peace just because of my dad and my brother and his wife.my dad is 67 years old. He borrows money from people for interest and this has become his habit.we all advise him but he doesnt like it.sometimes i cannot control myself and behave in a harsh way. i have heard that we should not even say "uff" to our parents. Moreover he support my brother and his wife.my brother doesnt go for any job and everybody in my family should be under his wife. i cannot accept it and i react.my dad shouts at me for that saying i should forgive them for watever they do. i forgived a lot but still they r torturing. please tell me what me and my mom should do.thank you
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, we advise you to seek the help of Allah in all your affairs. He is the One Who answers the supplications of the distressed when they call out to Him, and Who relieves their suffering. Allah Says (what means): {Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allah? Little do you remember.} [Quran 27:62]
Some supplications to be recited at times of distress have been reported in the authentic Sunnah of the Prophet like the Du‘aa’ Al-Makroob (supplication of the distressed). Nufay’ ibn Al-Haarith 
narrated that the Prophet said: “The supplications of the distressed are: 'Allaahumma rahmataka arju, fala takilni ila nafsi tarfata ‘ayn, wa aslih li sha’ni kullahu, la ilaaha illa ant (O Allaah, Your mercy I desire; do not leave me to my affairs even for the blink of an eye and set right for me all my affairs. None is worthy of worship but You).” [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]
Another supplication has been reported to be recited by the aggrieved and anxious: ‘Abdullah ibn Mas‘ood narrated that the Prophet said: “There is no one who is afflicted with distress or anxiety and says, “Allaahumma inni ‘abduka wa ibnu ‘abdika wa ibnu amatika; naasiyati biyadika; maadhin fiyya hukmuka; ‘adlun fiyya qadhaa’uka, as’aluka bikullis-min huwa laka, sammayta bihi nafsaka, aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika, aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika, aw-ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilmi al-ghaybi ‘indaka, an taj‘alal-Qur’aana al-‘Atheema rabee‘a qalbee, wa noora sadri, wa jalaa’a huzni, wa thahaaba hammi.” (O Allah! I am Your slave, the son of Your slave, the son of Your female slave. My forelock is in Your Hand; Your decision concerning me shall certainly come to pass; just is Your Judgment about me. I implore You with each Name of Yours, by which You named Yourself, or You taught to some of Your creatures, or You revealed in Your Book, or which You keep secret in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, to enliven my heart with the Quran and to render it the light of my chest, the remover of my distress and discomfort), except that Allah removes his distress and replaces his sadness with joy." Someone asked: “O Messenger of Allah, should we learn these words?” He said: “Yes, whoever hears them should learn them.” [Ahmad]
It is the right of the parent that his children be dutiful and kind to him in all situations. So, they have to beware of undutifulness. Saying "uff" is the least severe type of undutifulness, so the prohibition of what is graver than it is more emphasized. Needless to say, one aspect of dutifulness towards one's father is to advise him when he commits prohibited acts. There are manners and guidelines for offering advice to one's parents, as highlighted in Fatwa 270052. The son should kindly and wisely explain to his father the impermissibility of taking loans with interest and that it implies cooperation in committing a prohibited action; Allah The Exalted says (what means): {And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.} [Quran 5:2] In addition, the habit of taking loans or being in debt is very much discouraged in Islam, even if the loan is without interest. One should not opt for taking a loan without a real need for it.
You should also advise your brother who does not have a job and explain to him the importance of putting forth the effort to earn sustenance, and the gravity of living as a burden on others. You may use the contents of Fatwa 246688 to assist you in this.
There is nothing wrong with you commenting on the words or actions of your brother and his wife; however, you are advised to use good manners. The desired objective is to correct their affairs and not to quench your anger. If advising them would not be of real benefit, it is better not to advise them, especially if it would cause problems between you and your father. Allah The Exalted says (what means): {So, remind, if the reminder should benefit.} [Quran 87:9]
As-Sa‘di 
commented on this verse saying, "It means, 'Remind others of the Law and Signs of Allah if the reminder should be beneficial,' that is, as long as the reminder is accepted and the word of admonition is heard, whether the whole of the purpose of the reminding or only some of it is achieved. The implied meaning of the verse is that if the reminder does not benefit the recipient, like if the reminder increases the evil or decreases the good, then it is not commanded to remind; rather, the reminder is prohibited [in this case].” [End of quote]
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 343300, 88282, 13277, and 213715.
Allah knows best.