Her husband said to her "I don't want a wife like you"
20-6-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalamu alaikum, Sheikh Some women told me that once her husband said to her I do not want like you, then again I don't want like you, so she asked a very great and knowledgeable alim that her husband said to her I don't want like you, but she kept quite then alim said to her if your husband said I do not want like you and then if you had said him back that I do not want you too, then one divorce would had been happened.When she was telling me I asked her that did this alim really told you that she said yes if I had said back to my husband it would had been counted one divorce, then I told her sometimes my husband said also to me and I responded him back I don't want like you either.Sheikh please clarify if husband says I do not need you or i do not want like you then if wife says back same thing and she really intends or mean that at the moment what would be the ruling.Cause previously my husband said to me also and I responded him back I don't want like you either.Sheikh even though I want to live with him but when there were fighting between us and when I said back to him that I do not want like you either, I really intended that. So please clarify.Thank You.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
The husband's saying to his wife, "I do not want a woman like you" is an indirect pronouncement of divorce and the divorce does not take effect unless the husband intended it as we have already stated in Fataawa 90416 and 90531. If the husband intended divorce by it, then divorce took place. Whether or not the divorce takes place does not depend on whether the wife says the same thing in return.
If the husband did not intend divorce by this indirect divorce, then nothing changes and the marriage bond remains intact, and the fact that the wife wanted divorce does not have any effect because divorce is not in her hands.
So, the couple should continue to have good marital relations and live together in kindness as if nothing happened. They should both be keen on doing whatever leads to the family's stability and not exposing it to trouble and division.
They should both be careful concerning the words of divorce, whether explicit or implicit. Divorce is not the first solution when problems occur between the husband and wife.
For more benefit on how to treat an uncooperative wife or husband, please refer to Fatwa 85402 and 97217.
Allaah Knows best.