Fearing that son's fiancée carries cancer gene
31-12-2016 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamu alaykum. I am a 51-year-old Muslim lady with an adult son who recently had an engagement break-up with a girl for a personal reason of their own. A month after this incident, my son's friend introduced him to another girl, who is of a sound and religious background, for marriage. My son approached myself and his father so we got in touch with this girl and her family and got to know them and if, Allaah willing, everything is fine, then they would get married. After some catch-up with the girl and her family, I got to know that the girl's mother is suffering from breast cancer and that she has a few other immediate family members suffering from different forms of cancer. After acknowledging this, I asked the girl and her family very decently and respectfully whether they have done a gene test for this girl and whether she's carrying the cancer gene in her. However, the family and the girl were really hurt and did not seem encouraged to do this. I understand that everything is from Allaah, health and everything, but I am very stressed out for my son, and I do not want anything bad happening to him in his life, at least if we can (then we should) stop something that we can. There has not been an engagement or anything official done yet. I discussed this matter with my husband and my son himself, they do not seem to be bothered by this, and they said that we should leave it to Allaah. I prayed Istikhaarah (prayer of consultation), and I dreamt that the family had never-ending farms of onions, which means sorrow and sadness. This added even more to my stress. Now I am just concerned about my son's future, and I am also worried that I am hurting the family if we stop extending this relationship because the girl and her family are very keen. Am I going to be punished for this by Allaah? Am I committing a sin? I have no bad intentions... I need help; I just want to know what we should do in this complicated case. Please reply as soon as you can.Thanks, and may Allaah reward you for your help.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
There is no religious violation in what you did that makes you sinful. Even if we presume that the engagement was concluded, there is no sin in annulling it. An engagement is a promise between two parties, and either party may annul it whenever he wishes. Please, refer to fatwa 89197.
On the other hand, doing medical examinations before marriage is a normal matter, and the family of the girl should not abstain from it.
You may ask the doctors specialized in such diseases and their spread among relatives, and in light of their response you may decide whether or not to proceed with this marriage.
Allah knows best.