Excessive worry about one's sins and sins of others
2-10-2017 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamu alaykum. I have been worrying about the sins of my parents for a very long time. Though they generally are very good and do not engage in anything bad, you know how sometimes, out of anger, we do or say things that we should not do or say, and these things may be very sinful nonetheless. For example: About three years ago, during an argument, my mother said to my father that he was a hypocrite because he lied about something. I know that it is a great sin to accuse someone like that. I do not know whether she regretted this later or not, and I cannot remind her of that and ask her to ask for forgiveness for those words now, because she is going to think that I am completely psychotic, and I am already getting psychological help for some of my issues. She will think that I have lost my mind. Please help me, and tell me what I should do. I do not want her or any of my family members to be subject to serious punishment on the Day of Judgment. I want to be with them in Paradise. What should I do about this situation? Sometimes, I think about my sins and others' sins so much that it gives me a great deal of stress. I think the devil puts these thoughts in my head. Please guide me and tell me what I should do about my mother's situation as well as this whole thinking-about-sins situation. I really need your help in order to clear my mind. Thank you.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad
is His slave and Messenger.
Thinking about sins and fearing their outcome is good as long as it is not a pathological fear that harms the person and does not benefit him in any way.
So you have to be moderate in all your affairs, including this matter, and continue with the psychological treatment which you are receiving.
As for the sins which you fear, then the treatment for that is easy: it is to repent to Allah, and it is not a condition for a person to mention or remember all his sins in order to repent from them, nor is it a requirement for him to know all of them in order to repent from them. Rather, it is sufficient for him to make a general repentance with which he intends to repent of all sins, those which he knows as well as those which he does not know, and those which he remembers as well as those which he does not remember. Please, refer to fatwa 276013.
This repentance is sufficient for wiping out all his sins, Allah willing.
So remind your mother, your father, and all your beloved ones to repent to Allah with a general repentance that will encompass all sins, as there is much goodness in this.
Allah knows best.