Dispute on Wearing Niqaab and Visiting Graves
13-3-2018 | IslamWeb
Question:
Salam aleikum My husband is Always arguing with me about islam and how i follow and so on. For example if there is 2 opinions from the ulamahs i Always follow the strictest. Its bcz i want to be sure not getting sins ( even thou of course we are just peoole and sin anyway ) like the niqab . I follow the opinion its fardh and i wear niqab i Think that on judgement day if the niqab was sunnah i Will get ajer for wearing it and if it was fardh i still get ajer but if i dont wear it and on judgement day niqab was fardh than i get sins . And same thing about if its haram for women visiting graves i have the opinion its haram but my husbanf say that first it was haram but after the prophet allowed women visiting graves bcz he said its good so we Think about death and he insult me bcz i dont follow what he does . And about the niqab he tells me how can it be fardh when there are many hadith that sahabas has said they saw aisha r.a when they passed her by outside . My husband say if she was wearing niqab how could some sahabas reconize her? Sorry for many questions and may Allah reward u Sheikh
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger. {C}{C}
First of all, we say that it is acceptable for the spouses to have a dialogue on Islamic matters if this is based on a sound scientific basis, and in the framework of mutual respect between them.
If the wife chooses a particular opinion on an issue of over which scholars have differed in opinion, because she follows a scholar whom she trusts, or that she adopts a particular view (if she is a student of knowledge), then her husband has no right to oblige her to follow a view that contradicts the view she follows, or to harm her with words or action just because she follows a view different than the view he follows.
The jurists differed in opinion about both issues that are mentioned in the question, namely the issue of women covering their faces, and the issue of women visiting the graves.
The jurists differed in opinion concerning women visiting the graves, and whether or not it is included in the permissibility after it had been prohibited. Ibn Taymiyyah 
said: “The disputed issue, about visiting the graves which is permissible, does it include the permission for women and that the prohibition (stated in another prophetic text) is abrogated, or that there is no permission for them, and that they are prohibited from visiting graves? Also, does the prohibition mean it is a dislikeable act or unlawful act (i.e., a sin)? The scholars have three well-known opinions about this. [..] Some scholars believe that women are permitted to visit graves just like men are permitted to do so; they are of the view that the saying of the Prophet : “Visit the graves, for they will remind you of the Hereafter”, is general and that it addresses both men and women. However, the correct opinion is that women are not included in the permissibility of visiting the graves for many reasons……..” [End of quote]
In any case, the issue of visiting graves is an issue of Ijtihaad and your husband has no right to oblige you to abide by the view that he follows as we have already mentioned. This is with regards to your opinion and his on the ruling of visiting the graves. However, it is not permissible for a woman to leave her home without her husband's permission, whether it is to visit the graves or for any other reason, even if it is permissible.
Allah knows best.