Overcome by Waswaas and Imaginations
5-4-2018 | IslamWeb
Question:
Assalaamu alaykum,I have suffered from severe waswaas in the past.I have often felt unhappy and unsatisfied in my life. Although I have been blessed with so much by Allah swt.Sometimes my imagination runs wild and I fantasize about how my life would be if I had made different choices in my life. In my mind I see all these different scenarios playing out and sometimes I literally talk to myself and pretend that those things in my mind are true by acting them out, pretending I am talking to other people and so on.I am now very scared that this isn't only damaging psychologically but also haram. I never do these things when I am around other people. I only get drawn into it when I am alone. I know we're forgiven for passing thoughts but these aren't merely that and by talking to myself did I also go against the hadith that says we're not allowed to talk about it?I honestly don't know what to do. It is very much like an addiction. I also don't know if this requires taubah and how do I do this.These past few months I have had fantasies that are unlike anything I have ever experienced before. It was as if Allah swt showed me what would happen if I had taken that different road. Is this possible? Afterwards I felt extremely afraid of Allah swt. It was as if I had done something horribly wrong and I felt very scared. Can I be forgiven by Allah for indulging in these fantasies? Please help me.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You are not sinful for having such imaginations, especially if you were forced because of your Waswaas – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
However, you must get rid of this disease because a believer should busy himself in what benefits him and should not spend his life daydreaming, and should not allow illusions to overcome him because this prevents him from achieving what benefits him and distracts him from more important matters.
Therefore, you should busy yourself when you are alone with the remembrance of Allah, the recitation and memorization of the Quran, acquisition of beneficial knowledge, and so forth. Also, you should supplicate Allah as much as possible to rid you from this disease.
It is also good to consult a trustworthy psychologist.
You should endeavor until you get rid of this disease. If you endeavor to do so, you will achieve your aspiration, Allah willing.
Allah Says (what means): {And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways.} [Quran 29:69]
Allah knows best.