Limits of obeying parents

31-10-2023 | IslamWeb

Question:

Asslaum Aleikum I am a disabled woman and when I call up my parents as an adult they say hurtful things to me on purpose. Then they say they want to take me to a hospital where they live but when I used to be with them in the car they would unislamic things and say mean things to me and i would find it hard to breathe. Is it bad to disobey them and not listen to them and say no thank you but I am disabled and you stress me out?thank you ahead

---

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

The scholars have mentioned that obeying one's parents is obligatory in matters that are beneficial to the child and do not harm him. If there is a genuine benefit for your parents in your transfer to the hospital near the place where they live, and it does not cause harm to you, then it is obligatory on you to obey them. If there is harm to you in that, then you have the right to refuse, but apologize to them gently. This is an expression of kindness and goodness towards them, and it is required by Sharee'ah, whether the parents' treatment is good or not.

In most cases, parents have compassion for their children. Therefore, it is strange what you mentioned about your parents saying hurtful things to you, especially since you are a disabled daughter. That should evoke even more compassion from them. In any case, we advise you to be patient and pray for them to be guided to what is right. Try to advise them in a kind manner if possible. If they accept your advice, that's good; otherwise, pray for them and maintain good companionship with them.

Allah knows best.