Wants to return to her ex-husband for not being happy with her second husband
13-1-2014 | IslamWeb
Question:
Please advise me regarding this issue as it bothers me a lot. I have been married to a man for about 6 years up till now and we have a son. However, we do not get along in many ways and I feel that he is strange to me. I seek divorce for I married him due to his religiosity, but after marriage I found out that he is not as religious as he seemed to be. I have been in a dilemma since the first day of our marriage, but I console myself with the fact that I would enter Paradise from the gate of the patient people, Allaah Willing. Unfortunately, I did not get over my ex-husband and still have feelings for him, and he did not get remarried since our divorce. We were young back then and he was rather hasty in uttering divorce until he divorced me thrice. We have children who have grown up now. He has become upright and I do not know whether to go back to him or not.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
Dear questioner, we advise you to be patient and not to hasten in claiming divorce, instead, you should make full use of all possible means to advise your husband and reform him, and if you do everything within your power and abilities but he did not listen and you feared to wrong him or be unable to satisfy his needs and fulfill his due rights or feared to fall into Fitnah (temptations), then you may seek divorce. However, if he refuses to divorce you, you can resort to Khul'. He may take the payment and divorce you, or you can give up your dowry in exchange for divorce. However, if he refuses, you are entitled to take the case to court, but the judge cannot compel him to divorce you unless there is a self-evident harm that is supported by evidence, and this is the opinion of some Muslim scholars.
Furthermore, the majority of Muslim scholars believed that the husband should not be compelled to divorce his wife even if there was harm afflicted upon the wife, instead the ruler should chastise, warn, reprimand and punish the husband until he is restrained and shoulders his due responsibility.
Anyway, we ask Allaah The Exalted to Help you and Reform your affairs. Moreover, we would like to caution you against maintaining a relationship with your ex-husband; for he is now considered a stranger to you and you are already married to another man whose rights you should observe. If your husband divorced you or you claimed Khul', you may remarry your ex-husband.
Allaah Knows best.