Limits of interaction between a couple after concluding the marriage contract

9-3-2011 | IslamWeb

Question:

Is it valid under Sharee'ah (Islamic law), to talk to the fiancé after concluding the marriage contract, even though the girl’s father refuses that?

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

 

If the marriage contract has been concluded between a man and a woman, he has become her husband, and she his wife. Based on this, it is permissible for them to talk to each other, meet alone in private, and do all the things that spouses do. However, it is customary among people that the husband should not consummate the marriage with his wife before the wedding takes place. So, it is good to abide by that custom.

However, it is permissible for the fiancé to talk to his fiancée after concluding the marriage contract, even if this is against the will of the girl’s father, since his rejection is unjustifiable. Therefore, the fiancé should adhere to forbearance, consideration and kindness, in observing the right of the girl’s father on her. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Indeed, Allaah is Kind and He likes kindness and gives to the kind what He does not give to the harsh." [Ahmad, Abu Daawood, Ibn Maajah and Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh]

Let the fiancé also beware of falling into quarrelling or disputes with the girl’s father, since this might result in unfavorable consequences. The couple should be patient, and consider the difference of age, knowledge and so on. There is no harm in seeking the aid of a good reliable person to talk to the father, in an attempt to convince him that it is permissible for them under Sharee‘ah to speak to each other.

Allaah Knows best.