A vow conditional on marriage
13-8-2015 | IslamWeb
Question:
Is it permissible for me to make a vow so that Allaah, the Exalted, would bless me with a particular man as husband? If I fulfilled my vow, will Allaah, the Exalted, bless me with this man as husband? What are the conditions for making a vow?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
We would like to advise the questioner to adhere to Taqwa (i.e. piety and fear of Allaah Almighty) and patience and place her trust in Allaah, the Exalted. You should seek His help in all your affairs through supplication and Istighfaar (i.e. saying 'Astaghfirullaah'; I seek forgiveness of Allaah, the Exalted). The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Whoever adheres to Istighfaar, Allaah will make for him a way out of every distress, and relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he does not expect." [Abu Daawood]
You should know that a vow does not bring the son of Aadam anything unless it has been decreed for him. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "A vow does not bring anything near to the son of Adam that Allaah has not ordained for him, but (at times) the vow coincides with destiny, and this is how something is extracted from the miserly person that he was not willing to give." [Muslim]
Moreover, it is not recommended for Muslims to make vows. Some scholars even stated that it is disliked. However, when a person makes a vow to do an act of obedience to Allaah, the Exalted, then it is incumbent on him to deliver on his vow. If the vow-taker renders his vow conditional on receiving a blessing or being saved from adversity, then he is obliged to fulfill his vow once the thing upon which he made his vow conditional happens. Hence, making such a vow is permissible, yet disliked.
If you made a vow to do an act of obedience to Allaah, the Exalted, if you have a certain wish fulfilled, as mentioned in the question, and the wish is already fulfilled, then you are required to deliver on your vow. You are not required to fulfill the vow before the fulfillment of the wish upon which you based the vow. If you fulfill the vow before getting married to that man, for example, and then you get married to him, then you will have to re-fulfill your vow because it was not due before the thing upon which you rendered the vow conditional happened.
You should know that Allaah, the Exalted, may bless you with what you wish even if you do not make that vow as He may bless you with it after making it. Moreover, you might not get married to that man even after making the vow for a reason that only Allaah, the Exalted, knows. Anyway, a Muslim should be content with the Decree of Allaah, the Exalted, and be satisfied whether He grants him what he asks for or withholds it from him. Nevertheless, one should neither despair from His mercy nor get bored of supplicating Him. Allaah, the Exalted, never turns down the request of a slave as long as he does not supplicate for evil or for severing kinship ties.
Muslim jurists defined a vow as the commitment of an adult Muslim who is competent for religious assignments to do a particular act of obedience that is not obligatory on him in origin. The formula of the vow should suggest commitment. The vow-maker should be an adult Muslim who is competent for religious assignments. The vow-maker should express the formula of the vow explicitly. Merely holding the intention of making a vow does not render it a valid, binding vow. Add to that that for a vow to be binding, the person should vow to do an act of obedience to Allaah, the Exalted. When one vows to disobey Allaah, the Exalted, then his vow is not valid. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "Whoever vowed to be obedient to Allaah, the Exalted, must be obedient to Him; and whoever vowed to be disobedient to Allaah, the Exalted, should not be disobedient to Him." [Al-Bukhari and others] If he vows to give something in charity, then the object of the vow should be in the possession of the vow-maker. A vow is invalid if the vowed object is not owned by the vow-taker. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "There is no vow concerning something that a man does not possess." [At-Tirmithi]
Moreover, the person should not vow to do an act that is already obligatory on him. For example, one cannot say, "I vow to perform the Thuhr prayer if Allaah, the Exalted grants me such-and-such thing." He is already obliged to perform the Thuhr prayer without taking a vow.
Allaah Knows best.