Wishes to have sex with wife but mother extended wait longer to prevent it
30-7-2001 | IslamWeb
Question:
Thank you for the answer to my question ID 5694. Inshallah, I will approach my parents with gentleness and explain according to Islam. However, there have been further developments in my situation. Earlier, my mother was telling me to wait just a couple of months, now she says I have no right to have it my way and she will wait till December this year and then bring my wife. This is an increase from a couple to six months. What if December comes and she is still not ready? Brother, how far can I go with this, especially when my desire to be with my wife is very intense and may lead me to commit Haram. I do not wish to transgress Allah's (SWT) limits, but I need a solution to my problem. Can I go and get my wife from Pakistan on my own? Please help me!
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
Indeed you know the rights of parents. So, we advise you to be kind with them and deal honourably and patiently with them.
We perceive that you inform your mother of the life difficulties, in Western countries. Explain to her that there are a lot of temptations and attractions, which tempt you and every Muslim to forbidden matters.
You can tell her that marriage is meaningless if the wife is far from her husband. Therefore she should not delay bringing your wife in the appointed time i.e. (December).
We believe that if you can go to Pakistan, it might be a way to get rid of this problem. You may show your desire to be with your wife for a period then you may convince your mother of taking your wife with you.
In addition to being pious, and faithful to one's parents, one should be strong-willed when faced with some particular situations, especially if one fears committing what is forbidden.
You may tell your family that you will never return to temptations in Britain without your wife. Delaying till December is the mother's program and concerns her only. However, you can achieve what you want without hurting your parents. This could be possible only by having a strong will and by dealing wisely with them.
May Allaah help you and make your matters easy.
Allaah Knows best.