Family Difficulties Due To Divorcee Marrying Without Parents' Consent
1-7-2001 | IslamWeb
Question:
Does a divorced lady (non-virgin) (aged 30) with a child need the consent and approval of her parents to marry a revert person whom she likes to marry? Does she disobey her parents by getting married to the person she likes, if the parents are against her marriage? Is the marriage will be valid if she marries without the consent and approval of the parents? Also she had been meeting him, speaking to him and going out with him before her marriage. The reason to get married as soon as possible was to prevent them from committing any major sins. The Parents have broken/severed ties with their daughter (a non-virgin, divorced with a child) due to her getting married without the consent and approval of the parents. They have absolutely no contact and communication with her; they have disowned her completely. Is this right according to the Qur'an and Sunnah?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
The Sharee’ah does not permit the woman to marry herself off regardless of whether she is still virgin or she is divorced. There must be a Wali (guardian) or his consent for the Hadeeth: “Any woman who gets married without the consent of her Wali, her marriage is invalid, invalid, invalid.” The Prophet also said: “No marriage can take place without a Wali and two trustworthy witnesses.” This does not mean that the Wali can oblige the woman to marry a given man or oblige her not to marry a man she loves. It simply means that the woman should not take the decision of marriage on her own without her Wali’s consent. The Wali's agreement is important as he is a man and knows men better than she does. So he can differentiate between the good man and the bad one. In fact, the Wali is the man who suffers the most from any disgrace caused by the woman or any harm caused to her. So, he should have a say in the choice of the woman's husband.
On the other hand, if a man who can be considered a good match for a given woman as far as his character and ability to take responsibility of wedlock is concerned, proposes for this woman and she expresses her consent for the proposal, then the Wali has to accept this proposal and do his best to conclude this marriage. The evidence for this is the following Hadeeth.
The Prophet said: “If a man whose religion and moral conduct are pleasing to you proposes to you, then let him marry; otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth.” [At-Tirmithi]
If the Wali does not accept to marry her off to this man for no legal reason, then the woman can bring her case to the judge who will oblige the Wali to agree on the marriage or else the judge could make the contract without the consent of the Wali as he (the judge) is the Wali of all Muslims.
If the marriage did not take place according to the Sharee'ah rulings, then it is invalid in the first place. So it includes both a disobedience to Allah and bad act to the parents. But if the marriage was concluded according to the Sharee'ah, then it is not a disobedience to Allah, since in this case, the father who is the Wali tried to prevent his daughter from enjoying her right to marry and he also disobeys the orders of the Prophet so his (the father's) right is no longer due.
But the woman should, even in this case, be patient with her parents and explain to them that she needs to marry this man. However, she should remember that their rights, other than this one, should be observed as well, as much as possible and that their obedience in everything that is not contrary to the Sharee'ah is an obligation.
The ruling about marrying without the consent of parents was explained earlier. This woman has committed yet another sin by mixing with this man and going out with him until coming to the dead end mentioned in the question.
So, this woman has to repent to Allah and ask His forgiveness, and multiply her good deeds. In addition, she has to separate from this man and cut off all relations with him if she married him in a wrong way (not according to the Sharee'ah).
If this woman did not marry according to the Sharee'ah rulings, then what her parents did was right as she is a disobedient woman who committed Zina (adultery). Her parents and all Muslims should help end this invalid marriage. If they are not able to do so, then the least, they could do is cut all relation with her as this might dissuade her from continuing in it and persuade her to end this illicit relationship.
Allah knows best.