Breaking a promise

24-4-2002 | IslamWeb

Question:

In what case can a person break his promise? If I made a promise to my daughter, but my daughter disrespected me and called me all kinds of names, do I still have to keep my promise?

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Answer:

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Scholars of Islam differ concerning the ruling of honoring/breaking promises. There are three points of view in this concern:
1) According to the majority of Muslim scholars, it is desirable (not obligatory) to honor promises. This means that breaking a promise does not constitute a sin, but it is a detested act.
2) According to some scholars, it is a duty to honor a promise, so the one who breaks a promise is considered a sinner.
3) According to others, such an issue necessitates a detailed statement.
a) If breaking the promise harms others, then it is obligatory to honor your promise.
b) If breaking the promise does not harm others, then it is desirable to honor such a promise. This opinion, in fact, is the best view that satisfies the general goals of Shari'a.
In this vein, Allah, The Great and Almighty, has praised the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) Ibrahim (Alaihi al-Salaam) for honoring the promise: {And of Ibrâhim (Abraham) who fulfilled (or conveyed) all that (what Allâh ordered him to do or convey),} [53:37]. He also has said about Ismael (Alaihi al-Salaam): {…Verily! He was true to what he promised, …} [19:54].
Accordingly, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) dispraised breakers of the promise: "The signs of a hypocrite are three: (1) Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie; (2) whenever he promises, he always breaks his promise, and (3) if you trust him, he proves to be dishonest" . [Reported by Imams Bukhari and Muslim ].
Therefore, you are advised to honor your promise to your daughter. If breaking the promise causes some harm to others, then you have to honor your promise.
In addition, you are to advise and educate her if she is still under your care, since her behaviour is a form of ill treatment towards you.
Allah knows best.