Miserable Living with Uneducated Husband in Foreign Country
26-8-2002 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a married woman with three children and a good husband. We live in a foreign country I married with the condition. I won't be just a wife and mom, I want to finish my studies and do something. He accepted, but he didn't keep his promise, as well, as not staying long in foreign country. I understand that the economic situation doesn't permit him to send me with the kids, to our homeland, but, I am feeling really out of place I am going crazy; people here judge you by what you have, money, and your worth what you wear and whether your house has more decorations, and shallow stuff. I am suffering as well, because I am educated and go to college, while he and all his family barely read and write. I am not able to communicate with them as well as they treat me bad, out of jealousy. I am really feeling down. I need your advise.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
A husband is obliged to fulfill the conditions made at the time of the marriage contract for the Hadeeth wherein the Prophet said: “From among all the conditions which you have to fulfill, the conditions which legalize for you to have sexual relations (i.e. the marriage contract) have the greatest right to be fulfilled.” [Al-Bukhari]
However, it is advisable for a wife to observe the interests and welfare of her husband and children. If she perceives the benefits for her and her children as well in continuing to study, she may proceed on; otherwise, it is better for her to leave it and not bother about the talk of people. Seeking to satisfy people and gain their admiration is far-fetched, so, everyone who tries to gain people's adoration or is concerned about their talk will open a door to worries that will not be closed except with the Will of Allah.
Everyone who wants to have a happy life should be content with what Allah has provided for him in this life, turning his mind and efforts to prepare for the meeting of Allah, where a person actually becomes fortunate or unfortunate.
We would like to draw our sister's attention to the fact that the qualities to be considered in a husband are high morals, adherence to the religion, and capacity to fulfill the obligations of martial life, regardless of his educational qualifications and ability to read or write. No doubt, those qualifications are important to the person and add weight to his personality, but they do not have much effect on marital life.
In brief, we advise this sister to be patient with her husband and children, to try her best to raise her children according to the Sharee'ah, and fill the deficiency that could be from their father's side. They will be her store and treasure in the next life. The Prophet said: “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three: A continuous charity, knowledge by which people derive benefit, a pious child who supplicates for him.”
Allah knows best.