Problems with Relatives
28-4-2003 | IslamWeb
Question:
(1) How should we deal with relatives who are Muslims in name only don't follow Islam principles, don't pray, fast, etc.
(2) I have problem with some of my relatives? When I was small I noticed jealousy and hatred in their hearts for us. As I grew up, my heart has filled with complete hatred for them. I am in such a stage that I don't even want to listen their words, remember them or see them. I hate their presence also. (They don't follow Islamic Principles). In other cases, there are some persons with bad character and background. I don't want to move close with them or my family members talk to them, because I fear it may affect us in society. What should I do?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
You should deal with your relatives according to Islamic ethics in order to attract them to the religion and to perform the prayer in the appropriate way. We hope that Allah will guide them through you so that they become a support to you in obeying Allah.
The Prophet said: “I swear by Allah! If Allah guides one single man (to Islam) by your efforts, that will be better for you than possessing an abundant number of red camels (a very expensive breed of camels which is considered as the most valuable property in the sight of the Arabs).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Allah Says (what means): {So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? Those [who do so] are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.} [Quran 47: 22-23]
As for your relatives who showed hatred and envy to you, do not deal with them in the same way.
Allah Says (what means): {And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].} [Quran 41: 34-35]
Abu Hurayrah 
narrated that a man came to the Prophet and said: “O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I uphold the ties of kinship but they cut me off; I treat them well but they mistreat me; I am patient with them and they harm me.” The Prophet said: “If it is as you say, then it is as if you are stuffing hot ashes [in their mouths], and you will continue to be supported by Allah against them so long as you continue to be like that.” [“Stuffing hot ashes” means your kindness to them in spite of their harshness is like feeding them hot ash for the sin they are committing by their wrong deeds] [Muslim]
For the above reasons, we advise you to face your relatives' bad treatment to you by doing good to them, showing them the high morals of tolerance. Doing so is indeed a call to your religion, a way of keeping kinship, and a disdain for bad manners.
However, you should keep away from any of these people who could affect you or your family with his bad manners and bad religious acts. So, after having fulfilled Allah's Commandment of counseling such people and exhorting them, if there are no signs of success, then you should just break away from them.
The Prophet said: “This religion is (built on) an-Naseehah (i.e. sincere advice).” People asked, “To whom, O Messenger of Allah?” He, sallallaahu ʻalayhi wa sallam, said, “To Allah, to His Book, to His Messenger, to the Muslim leaders and to the public at large.” [Muslim]
For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 338464, 82279, 343351, 346561, and 362338.
Allah knows best.