Troubled Family Relations

10-6-2003 | IslamWeb

Question:

I am from a family of 5 siblings. My father passed away about 12 years ago. My two brothers have strained relations with me. My mother resides with me. Because of me they are not visiting mother. They simply hate me. Once when my mum talked for me, the elder did not talk to her for a year or so. I tried many times to patch up our relations but no success. Mum feels very sad that the two sons are not visiting her as she is getting very old. Older brother is very active in mosque activities and he has many friends. He is very good with friends but not with his siblings and avoiding them, although they are nice to him. What is important to a Muslim, mother, siblings, mosque or friends? Show me Qur'an, Hadith with regards to this.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

No doubt that the right of the mother is given priority over the rights of all other people. So, we advise the children of this mother to fear Allah in their mother. It is reported in a sound Hadeeth that the Prophet said about the mother: “Keep her company as Paradise in underneath her feet.” [Ahmad] So, it is unlawful that what happened between these children and their brother influences their relation with their mother as they must keep on visiting her and obeying her. They are also required to solve any problems that exist amongst themselves as severing kinship ties is a sin from which the person has to repent. No doubt also that the reconciliation will please their mother; hence, it will be an act of obedience that is highly recommendable.

For more benefit on obedience to the mother, please refer to Fataawa 81605, 82254 and 83443.

For more benefit on settling family disputes, please refer to Fataawa 85330, 82547 and 83031.

Allah knows best.