Teaching sons how to help their future wives
4-7-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
Hadith about men cooking, helping with "women's work",
Someone wants to teach their son how to cook, but the Dad says it's only for the daughter to learn and help her mom. So the boys get to sit back and be served while the girl does all the work? Then he will never learn how to help his future wife. What does Islam say?
Answer:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
1. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The best among you, are indeed the best to their wives, and I am your best to my wives." (Al-Thirmidhi) Imam Al-Bukhari narrated from Al-Aswad that he said: "I asked Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, what did the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) use to do in his house?" She said: "He used to be busy in his house work till the time of a prayer starts, and then he leaves to the prayer."
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) also said: "The most perfect of the believers in his belief is the one who has the most noble character and the best of you are those one who are best for their wives." (Ahmed and Al-Thirmidhi)
Imam Ahmed and Ibn Hibban narrated from Urwah who said: "I asked Aisha, what did the Prophet use to do in his house? She replied: "He used to sew his clothes, repair his sandals and do what men generally do in their houses."
The above Ahadith prove that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) used to help his family and share with them the burden of the house work. But basically the house work like cooking, sweeping, washing etc. is peculiar to women as the men are responsible of taking care of the outside work.
2. Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim quoted in his book Zaad Al Ma'aad from Ibn Habeeb that he wrote: "When Fatima, the daughter of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) complained to him about the abundance of work she has, the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) ruled that Fatima was responsible for the inside work such as cooking, cleaning, providing water, kneading dough and Ali was responsible for the work out side the house."
Therefore, the enquirer/sister should teach her daughter the mentioned jobs and the father should teach the son the outside jobs like purchasing the necessary goods and teaching him a profession so that he will be able to earn money in the future, etc. It doesn’t mean that he should not learn how to cook. He may need to cook for himself some day, or he might even need to help his wife especially when she gets ill or gives birth, etc.
Allah knows best.