Wants to become engaged, but fearful of her past
20-6-2004 | IslamWeb
Question:
I am a 20 year old girl I was going out with a guy from my university who is Muslim as well, but we both made mistakes. and we even used to kiss and hug each other. But I am still virgin because we never slept with each other. After Ramadan I became another person; started wearing hijab and I made real repentance I am not talking to this boy any more hoping that Allah will forgive both of us. A friend of his asked to marry to me and I think he is very practicing. I really feel that he is the person for me. Shall I tell him about my relation with his friend in the past which may make him change his mind since he likes me because I am practicing now? Or shall I keep quiet? But he might discover anytime from the other guy. I really want to say 'yes' but I am afraid of my past, even if though made real tawba. I don't know what to do.
Answer:
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
You should not inform this young man who proposed to marry you of the past sins you committed. Shariah recommends that the person covers himself as Allah likes people who-after committing such sins- cover themselves. In addition, you should renew your repentance over and over again. Allah is, indeed the Most Merciful, the Most Gracious.
Now, if the young man who proposed to marry you is pious and of good character you should accept his offer. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If a man whose religion and character please you proposes to marry one of your girls or women; you should marry him. Otherwise there will be much temptation and perversion on earth." [Al Thirmidhi].
You should not fear what the man who committed a sin with you might say. Indeed, Allah will protect you and take care of you as long as your repentance is sincere. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: Comply with Allah’s commands, Allah will protect you. [Ahmad and Al Thirmidhi].
Finally, we advice you to pray Istikhara before accepting this after and to respect the conditions of valid marriages in Islam.
Allah knows best.