Duty of parents for adult son who does not pray properly
3-1-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
It is compulsory duty of a Muslim father to see all his members of the family to pray five times a day. In his family one of the matured member, in fact his own son is not bothered about the prayer. The parents giving lots of advice, good and bad, punishments of the hellfire did not move him; (during the advice time he prays once or twice to satisfy the parent and then he stops it). What the parents has to do? Can parents live with him? Can parents chase him out of the house? What is your opinion and how to solve this problem after all parent has to answer to Allaah?
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
There is no doubt that it is an obligation for a man to nurture the members of his family in order to save them from the punishment of Hellfire. Allaah says (which means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from the Fire.}[66:6].
The Prophet 
said: "A man is a guardian over the members of his family and he is accountable for them." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] The Prophet advised the guardian to encourage his small child to perform the prayer as he said: "Order your children to perform prayers at the age of seven, and hit them at the age of ten (if they refuse to perform it)." [Abu Daawood] So according to the majority of the scholars
the order in the narration is an obligation upon the guardians, and this could not be achieved unless the guardians constantly guide, advise and teach the children to that effect to the best of their ability. There is no doubt, as well, that the mother plays an important role in this as she is the one who is with the children most of the time.
As regards the pubescent son, if you have done your duty by advising and nurturing him, then there is no harm on you. As an adult, he is required to perform the religious obligations and therefore he is accountable for his deeds. However, if you notice that he is negligent in some matters of religion, then it is an obligation on you to gently advise him with good words and in a soft manner without being aggressive with him. It would be more appropriate if you are able to appoint some young people his own age, to advise him as he might accept their admonition. If he takes heed, all perfect praise be to Allaah, otherwise it will be permissible for you not to talk to him or eat with him and the like, if you are sure that this will be of some benefit, otherwise it would not be permissible. As regards chasing him out of the house, this is something that should not be done as it is quite likely to cause him to become more corrupt as prey in the hands of some corrupt and dissolute company.
Allaah knows best.