Wants to attract a lady to marry

13-1-2005 | IslamWeb

Question:

This is a very strange question indeed. In order for a person to woo a lady, should he resort to behaving according to what is written on Internet sites by non-Muslims? This mainly consists of recommendations such as; staring someone in the eye when speaking, wearing the right clothes, cologne and speaking confidently, being clean shaven, etc. Or should he wholly put his trust in His Lord and ask the Most Merciful to soften the heart of the one he is trying to marry? I seek refuge in Allaah if what I ask is sinful. I just need clarification.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

In Islam it is legislated for a man who wants to approach a woman for marriage to look at her, to look at the parts of her body that make him more inclined to marrying her. At-Tirmithi reported that Mugheerah Ibn Shu'bah proposed to a woman so the Prophet told him: "Look at her as this would bring you closer to each other (emotionally)." Therefore, there is no harm for each party to beautify himself/herself for the other within what is permissible and without being extravagant.

As regards shaving the beard, this is something forbidden as the Prophet forbade us from doing so. It is permissible to speak to her as the need may require while observing moral principles. Supplicating is something desirable at all times, and we advise you in this instance to perform the Istikhaarah prayer.

Finally, we remind you that Islam has legislated beneficial rulings for humankind in relation to their worldly matters and in relation to the Hereafter; there is no need to resort to other religions for this purpose. Allaah Says (which means): {Say, "Indeed, my Lord has guided me to a straight path — a correct religion —.}[Quran 6:161].

Allaah Knows best.