Difficulty deciding how to keep his wife

14-2-2005 | IslamWeb

Question:

I have been separated from my wife for a long time. Please advise me what Du'a or actions I can take to ask Allaah to foster love between our hearts, to draw out malice from her heart and to bring her closer to me instead of her getting further away from me and in the process causing pain to me and our young children. Her family wants her to marry someone else. She is undecided. She has expressed a hint to reconcile then she totally ignores me as if I mean absolutely nothing to her. I am totally confused. A trusted friend advised me not to show any interest to her as this will make her want to see me? Whilst others have advised I should express my love to her. The problem is I don't want to lose her. Please advise me. I really do to know how to win the heart of my wife.

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Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

There is no doubt that the stability of marital life is one of the most important aims of Islamic Law in legislating marriage, especially if there are children. First, we advise you to supplicate to Allaah with Prophetic supplications like the saying of the Prophet said: "O Allaah, it is Your Mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You." [Abu Daawood] Second, you can seek the help of pious and knowledgeable people of your family and hers, have them sit with her and her guardian and study the matter with him and her, then decide what is beneficial, as reconciliation is good. As regards expressing your love to her or not doing so, this depends on what you think would be most beneficial.

Allaah knows best.