A troubled marriage needing a resolution
31-3-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I know this Muslim sister, and she has asked for me to forward this question. "I am aged 26 years old. I went to Pakistan about four years ago to get married. I went on my own, and after I got married there, my husband didn't treat me right. He always spoke words of hatred, and would ignore me. When I came back to the UK, I rang him for nine months, and not once did he talk to me, his family would talk, and the only reason was to inquire about sending money for him. I sent money, and when he came to the UK, he was the same, ignoring my family, speaking words of hatred, he even pushed me on sum occasions. Days passed, and one occasion, he stood out in the garden, to go out of the house. I was shocked, so he left. We then bought him back, but were the same, we gave him, lot of chances to change. He would never eat from home, wouldn't some near me. To this day, I don't know why, he would say I was not his wife. He has left me for over 2 years, but won't allow me to bring forward a divorce, because he wants his stay in the UK.
What can I do? Will I be in sin, if I die in this state, please tell me? I am considering taking this through the Islamic Shariah Court."
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Since the situation is as you have mentioned in the question, then you are not sinful with regard to the behaviour of your husband towards you. We hope that Allaah will greatly reward you for being patient about this affliction and for seeking His reward. The Prophet 
said: "The greatness of the extent of the reward is proportional to the greatness of the affliction. When Allaah loves some people, He afflicts them. So, those of them who are content get the reward of being content while those who get angry get the punishment of being discontent." [At-Tirmithi] So we advise you to be patient.
In addition to this, you have to look at what your husband has told you: "You are not my wife." This expression is a metaphor for divorce, so if he meant divorce by saying it, then you are divorced, but if he did not mean it, then you are not divorced.
If we suppose that he did not mean divorce, then you are still considered his wife and we advise you to be patient about him and seek reconciliation. In doing so, you should first seek Allaah's help, then the help of whomever you expect to reconcile between you; it might be that Allaah will enable you to reconcile.
If all this is of no avail, and you fear to be harmed, then there is no harm on you to take your case to an Islamic court of justice to remove the harm from you.
Lastly, it should be noted that it is not permissible for a woman to travel without a Mahram (non-Marriageable relative). If you had already travelled without a Mahram and without a sound religious reason, then you are obliged to repent.
Allaah knows best.