His wife will not forgive him for infidelity although he repented
21-4-2005 | IslamWeb
Question:
I had been unfaithful to my wife and my wife came to know about this after a year. Now she is not listening to anyone and says she wants a divorce. We have a small kid who is four months old. If have told her sorry and also promised her that I wont repeat this again but still she is not listening to me. In anger I even slapped her badly. I even told her that forgives me once as Allaah also forgives then she states that she is not as great as Allaah. She also abuses me and gives me bad-words. I don't want to leave her as I love her a lot. What should I do? Please help me.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
Indeed you did well for being determined not to commit adultery again, and you should be cautious about any means that could lead you to fall into this sin again, like forbidden mixing with women, staying in seclusion with a woman and the like.
You have to know that your wife has no right to ask for divorce as long as you repented from this sin, so you have to advise her and remind her of the saying of the Prophet 
: "The smell of Paradise is forbidden for any woman who asks her husband to divorce her without a valid (Islamic) excuse." [Abu Daawood] In addition to this, you have to remind her about the fate of the child if divorce takes place.
Nevertheless, if she insists on asking divorce, and it is difficult to maintain the marital relationship with her, then it is more appropriate to divorce her, and may Allaah bless you with another wife better than her. However, it is permissible for you not to divorce her until she pays compensation to you.
Finally, the following matters should be noted:
1) Her abuse to you is considered disobedience. Allaah explained how to treat a disobedient wife, and this is detailed in Fatwa: 89480.
2) It is not permissible to hit the wife except for a sound reason (Islamicly), provided that hitting is not severe and is expected to yield beneficial results.
Allaah knows best.